A Heart That Forgives

What do you do when someone hurts you? Do you harbor the anger and pain or do you let it go and just move on. I think you take a deep breath and just keep it moving, but sometimes its not that easy. Sometimes its the person you cared for the most that hurts you the worst. Its those times that forgiveness is hardest but someway somehow, you have to let go, forgive and move on. This song has helped me, hope it helps those who need it.

"Heart That Forgives" - Kevin Levar

B does it AGAIN!!!!!

I'm a little late with the videos but after hearing so many people talk about it I have finally seen Beyonce and Lady Gaga's "Video Phone" All I can say is B has done it again! I never really considered myself to be a Beyonce fan but I might have to start. This chic is killing it right now and its crazy. Some may think the video is trashy and too provocative but for some odd reason B still manages to look quite classy even when she's half naked. Maybe its her untarnished reputation or the fact that she's married but whatever it is, she pulls it off well.

The thing I like most about Beyonce is that she has found her niche and she has perfected it. She truly is the female Jay Z of pop music or whatever her genre of music is considered to be. Now some of you might not agree with that statement but if you don't...I want you to take a minute and give me one artist that you can actually compare Beyonce to??.....if your still looking for an answer its NO ONE. Not Re-Re, not Alicia Keyes, not MJB no one.

Beyonce is not the best singer ever or the greatest dancer but she is an amazing performer who reeks of unmatchable stardom. She's not afraid to be risque and she's not afraid to be sexy. It just so happens that her sexy is a different kind of sexy. Its that 2010 sexy all woman can take a note from. Its the sexy that says hey I COMMAND respect, I'm powerful, I'm hot and I'm gonna make these fools step up to my level. Now maybe that's my own interpretation but being as though she married Mr. Swagger himself I must be right. Jay Z has mad quiet a name for himself and Beyonce has done the same which makes them the perfect power couple. Love It!!!

If you have not checked out the video yet you can catch it on you tube. If you hate the video then its pretty clear that your a hater. Not sure what Lady Gaga's purpose was but hats off to you Beyonce for exuding power and confidence!!!

Check out the video and let me know what you think.

My most memorable moments of 2009

In 12 days we will officially reach the end of 2009. I've had great moments and bad moments this year, let's take a look at some of my greatest and worst moments of 2009.

Greatest

Ran my 1st 5k.
Dropped down to a size 4
Went to Los Angeles
Started my very own blog
Became alot more sociable
Won one of the most prestigious awards at work
Attended the Inauguration

Worst

Kept the wrong door open
Hit a 3 month financial bump
Lost sight of the bigger picture

I will probably add more in the upcoming days however, I am glad to see that there was more good than bad. Looking at the bad makes me very thankful things were not worst. Looking at the good, make me feel like wow, there is nothing I can't do, when I'm FOCUSED man!~~

Would love to hear what some of your greatest moments were please share!!!

Interesting lyrics of 2009

2009 has brought about some very interesting music this year. While the music these days is mainly based on sex, money and more sex, there has been some very humorous yet slightly thought provoking lines that have come about in 2009. Let's take a look at these lines and the type of people who would say them.

Mr. Confident: "Catch me at the X with OG at a Yankee game s*&t I made the yankee hat more famous than a Yankee can."

Ms. Crazy that exist in ALL woman: "Should I grab his phone, call this chic up, start some shhhh then hang up, or should I be a lady, ooh maybe cuz I wanna have his babies"

The Tiger Woods: "And every time I think of staying with her, she brings a friend around that make a n*7%$ reconsider"

The down to earth, keep it real kind of guy: "Sweat pants head tie chilling with no make up on, that's when your the prettiest I hope that you don't take that wrong."

The sexual guy who use to/currently goes to church: "Know we bout to sin but your body is a blessing (papa forgive me)"

The Whitty Thug: "Last name greatest first name ever like a sprained ankle boy I am nothing to play with"

Mr. Humble yet honest: "Yes I made mistakes that I don't ever make excuses for, Leaving girls that love me and constantly seducing hoes"

Mr. I Made it!!!!: "I am what everybody, in my past don't want me to be, Guess what I made it, I'm da mother f&$kin man I just want you to see."

and last but not least:

Mrs. knows her self worth!!!: "If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it"

I'd love to hear your thoughts, which line best fits you?

All I Want for Christmas

Ok so I saw someone used their blog as a way to put it out there what they wanted for xmas, I thought it was a pretty smart idea so I'm going to have to bite. Thanks for the good idea girlie I'm giving you full credit lol.

My Xmas List for 2009 is as follows:

Some kind of diamond (braclet, necklace, ring, earrings,) I will not discriminate
IPOD Touch
A pair of boots
A louis V bag
A house and doggie to match@!!!
A coffee maker

Ok now that's what the old me would have wanted. The real me... well I kind of realized that I have all that I need and I'm pretty blessed. The only thing thats missing is...Peace with where I am in life.

If I can learn that then all will be perfect in my world.

Happy Holidays!!!!

Holiday Blues

Usually around the holidays I am bouncing from wall to wall singing Christmas carol's and estactically happy. I don't know what's going on this year but I think the holiday blues are trying to get me. By now I normally would have had my house fully decorated and my Christmas tree up but nope...nothing is done. I have a good idea what it is but how to fix it eludes me.

I thought my trip to Nordstroms on Saturday would solve my troubles but it didn't. All that did was add a nice touch to my outfit by having me purchase a pair of overly expensive booties.....they are cute though. So not only do I have the holiday blues, my 2year tradition of buying 1 gift for myself for every gift that I get for someone else is disappointingly unsuccessful this year.

Nonetheless, I'm going to continue to try to fight it. The Christmas Carrol's have been in rotation for the past 72 hours but I'm going to keep the going. I'm also going to pick up a Christmas tree today after work and begin decorating the house. If all else fails..........there is always eggnog lol.

Well folk I better get back to work. Don't let the holiday blues get you too....Happy Holidays.

Random Why's

There are so many thoughts in my head I don't know where to start. I guess today I'll just give you guys a few randoms:

-I can't believe Christmas is in 11 days, time is going by so fast I wish I could get some of it back.

-Why is the media obsessing over Tiger Woods and his cheating ways. He's not the first man to cheat excessively to the point where its ridiculous, and I'm sure he won't be the last man to cheat that way.

-Why do they only sell eggnog during the holidays? Eggnog is soooo good and should be sold throughout the year.

-Why do I feel like Melanie Fionna read my diary and then made some money off my emotional words :0(

-Why is New Years Eve around the corner? Still don't know what I'm going to do yet.

-Why is there never enough time in a day to accomplish all that you need to.

-Why do emotions make you act a fool sometimes.

-Why do they say shopping is food for the soul when your depressed. That is just a underhanded lie to manipulate people into buying more crap.

-Why do I love love love when Rhianna says "I pitch with a gre-naaaade" lol

-Why do I feel so very thankful for all my blessings yet sad at the exact same time.

-Why does driving to Baltimore put me in such a bad mood. I'm from NY but BMore is so HOOD its crazy.

Well that's enough for today, I have a feeling I will be writing alot more this week.


-

I Wanna be a MAC Girl

For those of you who know me you know that I am always into everything. I am fortunate enough to be good at a lot of things and I am always interested in trying new things. Its like the more skills I find that I am good at the more I become interested in venturing off and finding what else I can be good at. I guess you can say I'm a jack of many trades lol.

Anywho, lately I am really into make up and I think that I would make a great MAC girl. Now I must be honest and admit that I am still very much an amateur since I typically only wear makeup on my eyes; However, when I was in the MAC store the other day, I was looking at the makeup artists and I was saying to myself "wow, I could really do this and probably be good at it." Maybe it was the cute little aprons they was wearing, or maybe it was the fact that everyone in there was all dolled up from head to toe like I usually am. All I know is that I really have been feeling like that might be a good look for me.

I am really not sure how to go about becoming a MAC girl but I know I have alot to learn before I get to that point. Untill then I will polish my skill, do some research on skincare and learn new techinques. I will never be the chick who wears a full face of make up, but I do think its important to enhance the good qualities that you have and make them stand out. Take a look at the eye trick I rocked when I went out in NY. Suprisingly it was a hit, but I know there are other tricks I must learn to better my technique.

My constant need to venture off to new hobby is my way of looking for that one good skill that can keep my interest and really be of financial gain to me. The bartending thing was cool but as I mentioned before I feel conflicted bartending on Saturday and going to church on Sunday. (No offense to anyone, that is MY personal issue).

Nonetheless, I will continue on in my pursuits and keep track of my progress as time goes on. If you have any tips or feedback on the eye trick I tried please feel free to share.

xoxo
MAC girl lol

Bartender!! Bartender!!

I mentioned in my previous post that I had a bartending gig during my Thanksgiving visit in NY. I was excited yet nervous about it because its been a while since I have bartended. I guess you can say bartending is like riding a bike because although I didn't remember any of the recipes on my index cards, when I got behind the bar everything came right back to me instinctively. What didn't come back to me I made up and guess what??? they liked it just as I knew they would :-)

I'm not sure what it is about the club that makes people want to floss and spend ALL of their money bottle popping, but hey their flossing is my tips. In the midst of my bartending hiatus I forgot just how fun it was. Its like going to the club getting paid to make drinks and listen to good music. It almost doesn't even feel like working sometimes and as for the money, well unless your in a really LAME spot, the money is always good.

For a quick minute I was thinking about officially putting my bartending hat back on but now that reality has settled back in I will have to humbly decline. Although the money is great and it is hella fun, my mentality has changed a bit and I think I will leave that as a every now and again gig.

If you have ever considered bartending I would definitely say try it. Those exciting times will serve as a great story when I am old and gray.

Hello Brooklyn

I have been gone for a minute but I'm back. Between my two jobs, the gym and the little time I have left to squeeze in a some kind of a personal life I have been swamped. Oddly enough, as busy as my schedule has been, I prefer it this way. There has been things turning my life upside down but fortunately instead of dwelling on certain situations I find myself not stressing over it because I am preoccupied with work. My part time job is amazing, I love it way more than I should and that is so ironic to me. This job has opened me up a little bit and has showed me that I am more sociable than I thought, and good at things I never thought I was good at. So far its been cool and the plan is to ride it out for as long as the man upstairs says I can.

This brings me to my holiday sabbatical. Well after 15 weeks and 3 days, I am finally back in BK where I belong and boy have I missed her. The ride up here was crazy its like once I got on the turnpike I could hardly mask my enthusiasm. My phone was blowing up with
facebook comments welcoming me home, 105.1 was playing brand new stuff I never heard before and sun was shining as if Brooklyn was saying hello.

I have so much I want to do while I am here I don't even know where to start. On the agenda so far is: shopping, cooking for Thanksgiving (yes, this girl can cook), catching up with 2 of my girlfriends, shopping, a few dates, a hair appointment, a bartending gig, and I'm going to try to squeeze the gym in too. I'm pretty excited about the bartending gig. I haven't done it in a minute but every drink is still fresh in my head and it is something I was always good at. For personal reasons I stopped doing it but my girl is having a party and asked me to work it so for this one time,...for old time sakes I said I would do it. I will definitely let you know how it goes.

Aside from all that, the plan is to just really enjoy the time that I am here. There has been so much going on I wish I could tell you, but right now I'm here to absorb my families love, celebrate all the things I'm thankful for and have a good time in the Empire State. Alicia was right when she said "these lights inspire you," cause right everything is right in the world.

Well I think that is enough for now. I just got my new mini so you can expect me to continue posting new blogs, heck the mini might even make me blog more since its so cute and compact. I hope you all are ready for the holidays, I am off to continue my holiday sabbatical.

~~ARe You A Bitter Blogger?~~

I have been debating whether I should write this or not but hell, its my blog I write what I want. First let me start by saying. I love blogging and I love reading other peoples blog. Sometimes I get so caught up in reading other blogs that it causes me to slack off on my own but heres my issue. I have read a variety of blogs on several different subjects such as shopping, fashion, relationships, gossip, pole dancing, you name it I have read it. What makes blogging so great is that it is the
1st amendment in its truest form. Bloggers really have the freedom to write whatever they want. The problem is that while I have read some blogs that have been really entertaining, uplifting and even educational at times, I have also read blogs that are filled with nothing but bitterness and negativity. Of course I don't have to read them if I don't like the content but I'm more so concerned with the thought process behind someone who has nothing good to say and why they feel the need to share their poison. The resentment towards men toward woman heck sometimes their resentment toward all happiness should be kept for their own private diary. It might not be my place to say it but I just think that although we have the freedom to write whatever we want, blogland is no place for other peoples poisonous baggage.

Maybe I am naive but I would like to think that when we write these blogs its for positive reasons, not to put certain people down, or tell some people off or brag about how we are the hottest thing since slice bread. I personally find that annoying and to be quite honest a pathetic attempt for attention.

Fortunatley, I have not come across too many bitter blogs but for the ones I have crossed, I'm really not interested in following your negativity. To everyone else, lets continue to enjoy this blog thing and and be wise enough know the difference between trash and good writing.

~~Happy Blogging Folks~~

Why so Ghetto????

First there was Oprah, then Tyra, now Wendy Williams and the newest addition is the Monique Show. Now I definitely support my sisters out there trying to do their thing, but how many of the same shows do we need? Oprah of course is in a class by herself and Tyra, not much to say about her show; but, Wendy Williams and the Monique Show seem to be identical to me, almost repetitive. Monique may not center her show around gossip but at the end of the day both shows are the same. The only difference between Monique's and Wendy's show is that Monique screams the ENTIRE time. She yells at the top of her lungs in excitement over one thing or another, I just don't get it.

Lately, it seems as though "keeping it real" has been misconstrued to mean "be ghetto as hell." Why must we straighten our wigs on TV, and scream to the top of our lungs and then justify the behavior as "keeping it real." The last time I watched the Monique show she was barefoot with a foot brace on. Are you kidding me. who hosts a show barefoot?

I don't know folks, I'm definitely not trying to be judgmental but sometimes I really get tired of black people living up to the title of ghetto.

Let me know your thoughts.

My Mr. Big

I'm sure you are all familiar with SATC's Mr Big. He was Carrie's true love, the guy that sent her on a emotional rollercoater with his non-committal issues yet could never muster the nerve to make a clean break from her. Big ran havoc on Carrie's life, he even left her at the alter, but after everything was said and done, he finally overcame his commitment issues and married her. I'm sure at times we all shook our head at Carrie in disapproval wondering why she couldn't just let Big go and move on. The truth is, although they both had serious relationships with other people they always came back to each other. There was no such thing as a clean break with them.

I never shared this with anyone so Blogland feel special. I have my own Mr. Big and when I first saw SATC the movie it was like watching my personal life on the big screen. Watching my own mistakes, watching my heart go on an emotional roller coaster, watching my girls/family shake their head and tell me that the one dude I can't shake is a jerk.

To be honest it was so close to watching my life I was relieved when Carrie and Big finally got married. I was relieved that in the end it paid off and I used that as my hope that my situation will eventually pay off. I wonder if there ever is a happy ending or just more emotional roller coasters.

People always offer advice even when their opinion isn't requested, well this blog isn't seeking advice. I actually don't care what anyone thinks I should do. This blog is about my life, how I feel and what I'm going through. If any of you have been here before, then you know this is one of the worst feelings ever.

I've seen people marry their "safe choice" because they thought the safe person could make them happy. I've seen the look of "I settled" and all I know is that no matter how naive it may sound, I want to end up with the love of my life. The man who makes my heart skip a beat and treats me the way I deserve to be treated. Maybe I have already met this man maybe he's on his way, what I do know is Big or no Big, without risks there is no reward!!!

The Balancing Game

Ok, so the name of the game I am playing now is called the balancing game. I recently picked up a new part time job for the holidays and its only been 1 week and my body is not cooperating. To confirm what I already knew, I saw my work crush as I was leaving the office yesterday and he said to me "wow you look tired." Great,..... just the thing you want to hear from your crush. To his defense tired was putting it nicely, how about worn out.

After missing the gym for 3 days I can't wait until I can muster up enough energy to go back. Some way some how I am going to work my full time, work my part time, maintain my 3 day gym routine, continue my blog, mentor my little sis, continue to head my book club and have time for friends all while still maintaining my sanity.

It will be interesting to see how I manage all this but like I said, the name of the game is BALANCE. Wish me rest!!!

Ladies and Gents..... Why The Games??

Why do men and woman play such silly games with each other? Read my list of common games and if your guilty of some of them for pete's sake CHANGE IT!!!

Ladies, why do woman see a cute guy and as soon as he looka at you, you look away and pretend we werent looking? Not all woman do this but if you do don't fake and look away. If you see an attractive man don't play shy, flash him a subtle smile instead :-}

Fellas, why do you use the same "Good Morning" or "Good Night" texts on every girl you like in the beginning? Booooo can you switch up the game a little because if I get one more "Good Morning" text from a new guy I'm gonna SCREAM!!!!

Ladies, why do woman say they are cool with "just kickin it" or being "cuddy buddies" when they know they want a relationship? If you can't keep it 100 you don't need a cuddy buddy!

Men, why do you chase, cheat and jeopordize your relationship with the the sexual promiscious chick yet wife the wholesome "good girl?" Just be with the promiscous chick if thats what you like!!

Ladies, why do some woman pretend to not need or want a man just to prove they are independant? Ladies you can have/want a man and STILL be independant!!

Men, if you no longer feel a chick or preoccupied with someone else why is there always the girl you keep an open door with just in case? Either walk through that door or close the freaking door *!slam!*

Ladies, why are some woman still going out on dates just to get a free meal? If your too cheap to buy yourself a meal why expect someone else to.

Men, why do some of you think the world revolves around you just because your attractive, have a good job and a few muscles? FYI just because some woman act like there is a shortage of men, there actually are alot of single, attractive men out there who have themselves together so please stop acting like the last Mohigan

Ladies, why do you let your "cuddy buddies" meet your children? Your cuddy buddy isn't going to be your boyfriend stop letting the baby see all these men!!

Fellas, why do you go to the club and bag 10 numbers and then not use 1 of them. That is so corny because while you was wasting "Lisa's" time practicing your game, she could have been hollaring at Keith who would have really called. Don't waste other peoples timem it's rude!!!

Ladies, why do woman sometime "pretend" to be busy just to make it seem like they are really doing something? How about you get some hobbies and actually really be busy instead of faking!!!

Fellas, don't some of you know by now that you don't have to lie. You can be straight up with a woman and tell her exactly what it is and if she really wants to deal with you she will regardless, so...you aint gotta lie CRAIG!!!

I Heart You!!!

So today's question is what does "love you" really mean? Not in regards to feelings or emotions but more so what happens once "love you" is said"? Do people become madly in love and pledge to be together for as long as the ride last? If you are not currently with the person that said "love you" does the declaration of love make both people skip right into "in a relationship status?"

Maybe, absolutely nothing changes and its just a word that describes an intense emotion, that one feels the need to identify out loud. I just want to know what comes after...."love you"? and if nothing comes after it then why does society place so much importance on the L word?

Would love to hear your thoughts!!!

Looking Past IT

I been gone for a minute but I'm baaaaaaacccckkk!

September has been an emotional roller coaster for me. There was times I didn't know if I was coming or going, hell to be honest I STILL don't know if I'm coming or going. What I do know is that I'm determined. I determined to figure out this thing called life and to grab it by the horn and get it before it gets me. September has brought me financial struggles, a month of no shopping, a "will you be my girl" followed by someone who won't return my calls because I only want to be friends, a best friend losing focus of our friendship, and an unexpected "love you" from someone I can't have.

I don't know whats really good right now but I'm tired of crying and walking around with a question on my forehead. I have no clue why thing happen the way they do. I have no clue how to fix some of the problems in my life. I just know its time for change, and that change must first start in my way of thinking!!!!

So call it enlightenment, call it a temporary high from the gym (just left there an hour ago) but after a month of feeling the blues I'm filled with hope. Now is the time to speak those things that are not, as though they were. October is going to be GREAT, heck TOMORROW is going to be great!!! I'm looking past how thing are and at how I want them to be!!!

My Top 10 Hottest Black Men Alive

Here is my list of the 10 hottest black men alive. Some made the list for their looks others made the list because their swag is so cool they made me believe they are hot. Let me know your thoughts!!!!!

Why Tiny and Toya Makes Black Woman Look Bad

We all know the song, and have used the phrase "Our president is Black." Well along side our amazing president is the astounding first lady Michelle Obama. In a era in which the career options of a woman are boundless, shows like "Tiny and Toya" take us back to 1964. The show depicts the lives of the woman of 2 of the worlds most famous rappers, TI and Lil Wayne.

The direction of the show is completely unclear to me as these woman do not portray strength,intelligence, ambition or class. I might sound a tad harsh in my assessment however, this show sets a terrible example for all young girls watching. We have Michelle Obama who is a wife, a mother, a Harvard graduate and so much more yet, "Tiny" will say on national television that she doesn't know if she should go back to work because TI doesn't want her to. Toya was shown knocking door to door looking for her mom who is currently on drugs and I cannot recall a episode in which Lil Wayne nor TI's name was not mentioned during the show. With deep concentration I can understand what these woman are saying but when first hearing them speak it's as if they speak in script, all their words are connected. How has this become the proper representation of an African American woman?

Tiny deserves minimal credit for her success in Escape however, she does not expose herself to be a strong intelligent business woman. Toya resents being referred to as "Lil Wayne's baby mom's" yet, she is writing a book about her previous marriage centered around the rapper.

I hold no judgement on these woman individually, but my qualm is that they are a poor representation of an African American woman in 2009. African Americans have finally made it and we do not necessarily come from the ghetto, have family members on drugs or speak improperly and blame it on "our southern roots."

"Tiny and Toya" is a show that should have never been picked up by BET let alone aired. TI is now incarcerated and Lil Wayne is expecting 2 babies at the same time from 2 different woman. Is TI and Lil Wayne really the ideal men whose wives/woman should be highlighted? The entertainment reality tv provides us with after a stressful day of work is humorous however, Tiny and Toya's show makes sista's look bad and black people look bad!

Sneakers in Pretty Packaging!!!

Fellas, if you thought pretty packaging just applied to "girly" things you were wrong.

A new concept that is sure to create a frenzy is the unique new packaging of some of the latest kicks. From Nikes, to Adidas, to Kanye West's new LV kicks, the new packaging concept for sneakers no longer includes the typical standard cardboard box. Innovative designs now have sneakers packaged in everything from bullet like cylinder to Eco-friendly cartons. While the customized detail packaging is definitely a strong selling point some manufactures have found that the peculiar structure has caused a significant increase in production and shipping cost. One unique box you are sure to see is the LV packaging of Kanye West's new kicks. I'm not sure who will be wearing them but at least the packaging is classy.

Calling all Sex in the City Fans!!!!

Not sure how I missed the memo but apparently filming for SATC 2(Sex and the City) started early this week. NYC's four favorite gals are reuniting one more time with promise of Louboutins, couture, comedy, sex and oh yes Mr. Big. The sequel will be filmed in New York and London and is scheduled to be released on May 28, 2010. Despite talk of cat fights and possible feuding all four girls will return for the sequel. Celebrity guest appearances are rumored to include Victoria Beckham, Katie Holmes, Miley Cyrus and a possible reprising role for Jennifer Hudson as "Louise".

Filming for the show has caused onlookers to go crazy and the set has beefed up the security just to manage the crowd. With talks that Mr. Big will battle with infidelity and fans might be forced to watch our Carrie go through yet another heartbreak, SATC 2 is bound to be a hit at the box office.

So ladies, if your four bffs include Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda I'll see you at the box office on May 28, 2010. Stay tuned for more details to come!!!!!

Idle Thoughts

Below are a few random thoughts that crossed my mind today.



Why does a guy either like you too much or not enough can't there be a happy median.

Jay Z is the only dude who can make people actually look forward to 9/11.

I'm seriously considering becoming a massage therapist on the side...but my friends keep asking me if I can rub a nasty hairy ugly back for 1hr? My answer "...if the money is right hell yeah!"

I was reading someones else's blog and they used the EXACT same picture AND title as one of my blogs, which was posted months ago. That's just trifling...you know who you are.

I saw the cutest shoes in NORDY'S today for $158.00....should I get them??

Why is BET only "considering" picking up CW's The Game? They can pick up College Hill but a good down to earth show like The Game, is under consideration. SNH

Is it me or is the initial set up of twitter non user friendly?

Thinking about throwing a get together what are some things that will make it a hit!!!

I wonder if wheat grass will really rid me of my gray hair. I am going to try it this week and let you know.

If your having a party, wedding, baby shower, or anything that would require an invitation, email me at custeasakittie@yahoo.com and i can personally customize a invitation for you.

Every man should strive for a body like Idris Elba that man screams SEXY!!!!

Would i look best driving a Acura, Maxima or Expedition?

In The Beginning

It is something about when you first meet a man and start to hit it off that you smile and think back to that feeling of excitement and hope, that you had when you was young and had a new crush. The phone calls, the dates and the text messages leaves you smiling and wondering what possibilities are in store. In some instances months down the line you realize there are no possibilities and its not going to work, other times you realize the possibilities are endless and you can’t wait to explore them. This time around I chose not to think of where it can go, but to enjoy the moment and remember to smile. Ladies we all know men are at their very best in the beginning , if you get nothing else at least enjoy and appreciate your happy beginning.

Seasons Change Your time is Up!

Usually right before New Year's I read over my old diary entries, scroll through my phone and delete the people who no longer need to be in my life. Truth be told, I hate this routine behavior I engage in but I know that people come in your life for a season and the seasons change. Although I am 4 months early it seems as though its time for the removal process to begin. The friends that have drained me emotionally, the people who have gotten on my last nerves, the ex-boyfriends that have been around for way too long and the new guys that have already shown disappointing signs.....well its time for them all to go.

Statistiscs shows that when people write things down, they are more inclined to follow through on what they say they will do. This blog is my way of ensuring that I do what I need to do.

The removal process this year is twice as hard. Maybe its harder because the time came around earlier than expected or maybe its harder because there are people that I really don't want to remove. What I do know is that emotions are feelings that can make you loose sight of the bigger picture, they are feelings that make people do things that logically don't make sense. Emotions are temporary reactions that can betray you and make a fool of you if you let them. With that said, my feelings are irrelavent to my decision. There are 3 people this blog applies to. If you initiate contact with me and you receive no response, know that you was one of the three. It's been fun (not really) but your time is up!

FOOTBALL Season is finally here

After months of waiting football season is finally here. Whether you have a man who loves sports or your a single female, football is a game everyone can grow to love. I haven't always been a personal fan of the sport but once I opened my mind and gave it a chance I was hooked. Week after week guys in tight shorts and bulging biceps play an aggressive four quarter game, battling it out for the one game which makes the whole NFL season make sense.....the SUPERBOWL!

From controversial players like T.O, Michael Vick and Pacman Jones, to the adorably handsome Santana Moss, football brings forth an a unpredictable seasonal where veterans and rookies all come together in hopes of making it to the finals. So ladies do your research, pick a region, a team, a color, whatever floats your boat, but get in the game. If you are in a relationship or just dating host a football party you'll have a blast. Remember real divas can speak on every subject so why not start with America’s favorite sport, and I don’t mean soccer!

OYA oh boya!!!

On Friday, my Line Sister and I decided to hit the streets and attend a happy hour. The initial plan was to stay in MD for a change and go some where local, so we decided to go to BMX. When we pulled in the driveway we both looked at each other like "are we really going in there?? yuck." Now I know that might sound bourgeois or stuck up but hey, when you frequent places like The Park, its kinda hard to go to a place where the men are wearing plaid shorts and jerseys.

Anywho, we decided not to kid ourselves and we headed straight to DC to go to LuX. Between the rain and the giggling, the jokes and the girl talk we somehow winded up at Posh instead. We walked in and requested a table and was asked if we had a reservation. Ok, ok so we didn't have a reservation big flipping deal is what I was thinking...it is after all only Posh. Nonetheless, they had the audacity to tell us they would inform us in the next 45 minutes if we could be seated. Nothing else needed to be said, we left.

At my LS suggestion we decided to venture off and go to OYA. In the midst of the rain, bad directions and just mere frustration that it was 2 hours later from the time we met up and still hadn't eaten we were both pretty cranky. The funny thing about the whole night is that through it all, my ls and I laughed at EVERYTHING. Even the pedestrian that deliberately gave us the wrong directions.

We finally found OYA and after the long night we been through it was like seeing the promise land. OYA is a "contemporary Asia-French fusion restaurant and lounge in Penn Quarters." The atmosphere is euphoric and when you initially walk in the first thought is "dag, is this in the budget?" Surprisingly it was, and very much so. My LS had the Mac N Cheese with lobster, Bittersweet Molten Chocolate Cake and a Moulin Rouge. I had a Sea Bass spring roll which was quite filling, a Triple Ginger Carrot Cake Bar which made me want to lick the plate and a bubbly concoction called "Sex" which came in a tease size and a climax size. It's crazy but in 2009 you can actually go to a restaurant and have sex for only $6.00! Needless to say I was straight and everything was right in the world.I was thoroughly impressed with OYA, its a great place for a dinner party, first date or night out with the girls. The marble white walls, white leather couches and amazing fireplace makes the place feel surreal. Even decor in the restrooms make you want to linger in the mirrors and play and primp. The staff was was attractive, the service was impeccable and no we did not have a reservation. OYA is 10 times better than Posh and if you are ever in the DC area you should definitely check it out. OYA oh Boya!

Get Some Class....please!!

Ok, so I was driving to work yesterday morning, listening to 92Q and the advice chic (not sure of her name) came on and gave her insight on relationships. Addressing the fact that the dating scene is taking a dramatic turn for the worse, the advice chic believes the underlying cause for this shift is that woman are so scared of the 1:13 men to woman ratio, that they have started doing any and everything to keep or get a man. This action by woman has resulted in men being the choosers instead of the chasers.

The days of the man being in pursuit are far gone because woman have just made it too easy nowadays. Unfortunately, I have to agree with this point because I have noticed men are just too lazy to chase these days, because they have so many options and they simply don't HAVE to anymore. Now I am not one for silly games, but if a dude will not put forth a little effort to pull me, then in the long run he is probably not worth my time.

Nonetheless, after the radio chic shares her wisdom I start listening to the Rickey Smiley Morning Show and like clock work I was able to see just why men have gotten so out of control. So Drake, was the featured guess for the morning and he was talking to Ricky Smiley much about nothing. A few woman called in and this is how the first two calls went:

Desperate Chick #1: "Hi Drake, I'm trying to see you tonight."
Drake: Uh, you wanna see me? I'm in Dallas where are you.
Desperate Chick #1: "I'm in Atlanta, but imma have to do something cuz I need
to see you tonight."
Drake: Laugh uncomfortably like ok.

Desperate Chick #2: "Hi Drake, my name is Trina, remember me from last night?"
Drake: (Laughs) can you clarify what you mean by last night.
Desperate Chick# 2: "We chilled and had a good time. I'm the one that had on
the yellow dress with the thick thighs and wide hips.
Rickey Smiley: "What did you have on again?"
Desperate Chick #2: "A yellow dress with thick thighs and wide hips."

Now I don't know about you but my mouth literally dropped. I mean there is really not much left to say but Desperate chick #1 and #2 are the main reasons men are the way they are.

Ladies please get some class and self respect you are really killing the game for sistas that have it together!

Knowing is Half the Battle

So I checked out GI JOE this weekend and I have to admit it was pretty cool. There was non stop action from beginning to end. My only gripe beside the lady with the screaming baby and the chic who kept kicking the back of my chair was that, there was a lot going on simultaneously. It was border line chaotic because there was so many different things going on, but the stunts and the futuristics (mission impossible) technology made up for it. Marlon Wayans did a pretty decent job. He maintained his typical humorous personality and balanced it with the perfect blend of heroism which allowed him to still be taken seriously. Duke, served as perfect eye Candy for the movie and has a very promising chance of becoming McDreamy Joe.

All in all the movie was good and on a scale from 1 to 5 I give GI JOE a 4. If you were hooked on GI Joe as a child and you love action, this is one movie you will definitely want to check out. For those of you who have seen it let me know your thoughts.

Michael Phelps.....Uh not yet!

Once you reach a certain age basic activities you could have learned naturally as a child become increasingly difficult as an adult. Swimming is one of those activities. If you put a baby in the water, the baby will instinctively learn how to swim so they do not drown. If you put an adult in the water who does not know how to swim then you get.......me.

Three weeks ago I decided that I was going to stop wishing I knew how to swim and make it my business to actually learn how to swim. With the help of a good friend I have had 3 lessons so far and slowly but surely I am making progress. The hardest part for me in learning how to swim is overcoming my fear of drowning. It seems as though once my ears get wet or my face goes in the water, I panic and start to mimic the body gestures of a fish out of water. I also noticed at the beginning of each lesson as we review what I learned the previous week, I start each position and midway through I force myself on the ropes flapping my arms like a manic all while screaming "WAIT WAIT I WANT TO STOP!!!!!!" Fortunately for me, my instructor is patient and has beared with me through my nonsense. I believe he has noticed the trend, that even though I have practiced each position perfectly in the previously lesson he understands that I'm crazy and will act like I am drowning during the beginning of every lesson.

Despite my slow progress, I am very excited that I am learning how to swim. I have brought everything to support my new hobby from chlorine removal shower gels to pretty pink buoys. As a new swimmer I must say I am disappointed in the whole swim cap theory. My hair has gotten soaking wet every time I have worn the cap and I feel like they are useless. Black girls can't afford to get their hair wet for GP so what's a girl to do?

Nonetheless, I will not let the swim cap issue nor my fear of drowning stop me. I hope to completely learn how to swim by the end of summer; if so, triathlon here I come!!!!!!

TEXTING does not equal Talking

Recently, I have heard alot of complaints about how technology is almost eliminating the need for communication. Text messaging, FBing, BBMing, IMing, Twitter, MySpace and email are the hiding places for those who opt not to participate in face to face interaction. On numerous occasions I have been guilty of texting instead of calling or emailing instead of talking, but after the text message I recieved the other day, even I can admit that the lines of communication between men and woman are really getting bad.

A few week ago I met a average looking man outside of a very popular DC lounge. Ten minutes after meeting him he sent me a text message that read "how do you spell your name?" I found that slighty odd since my first name only has four letters but I texted him the correct spelling of my first name and went about my business. A few days later he texted me again and it read "text me your email address so we can make plans." Now that text was more than slightly odd, it was stupid!

It seems as though people today, are hiding behind networking applications because they are either insincere or lack basic communication skills. The intimacy of phone calls is almost extinct. Nowadays everything is well thought out and then typed into an electronic device sent from one hand to another. What happened to the good ole days when a man would call a woman and say "are you free this friday evening?"

As technology continues to make things easier for us at every end, some things actually require a little bit of work. Men, if you are interested in a woman pick up the phone and call her sometimes. Let her hear the sincerity of your voice instead of making her decode the sincerity of your texts. If you cannot say what you write/text then you problably should not be saying it at all. If you lack the courage or initiative to pick up a phone and ask a woman out then you don't deserve a date.

Needless to say, I did not respond to the text, my lack of geniune interest mixed with his lack of communication skills reaks of future havoc. The point is that there is nothing wrong with IMing, FBing, Texting or emailing when it is done in moderation. Lets open our mouths and not force our fingers to do all the communicating.

Wish List

Lately I have been mentally shopping for a few different items that I would like to purchase before the fall. So far the list includes: a Mini Netbook, a new Blackberry, Grey Stilettos, and a new Hobo.


Of course these items will only be purchased per the approval of the budget, but due to the need versus the mere desire I believe they will be approved. If you are asking yourself why these items are a need I will tell you. The Mini Netbook is a guaranteed way to enable me to focus on my blog and write more frequently. The new Blackberry is needed because in the past week I have dropped my Blackberry 5 times, plus it is now eligible for an upgrade. The shoes are self explanatory just look at them. And last but not least, there is no point in having a Netbook and a Blackberry if I do not have a bag to carry these items in....thus the Hobo.

I will definitely keep you guys posted as I mark each item off the list. Remember, Nordy's is having their anniversary sale now through August 3rd, make sure you check it out you do not want to miss this.

Until then, Happy Shopping!
XOXO

Facebook gone Wild!

I am still fairly new to the whole Facebook thing however, I am tickled everyday by someones status, comments, or profile picture. Ideally, FB was created for networking purposes and to maintain connection with past or current contacts; however, in the past few weeks I have seen an abundance of things on FB that has made me look and shake my head. I have:

-had people request me as a friend when I know they don't even like me, they just want to be nosy.
-received friend requests with not even a note included from people I have NEVER officially met.
-witnessed chicks stalking their past or current love interests and then threatening to put him on blast via FB.
-witnessed a man/woman scorned and venting to FB as therapy.
-witnessed people discussing their need for sex through status updates.
-witnessed people save others as a friend and then privately go to back and delete them because they did not want to be rude and decline the friend request.

When you start putting your business on Front street, and using the audience of FB to threaten those who have done you wrong, or fake like you REALLY have alot of friends, or try to seduce people with your half naked pics just so you can feel better about yourself,....then something is wrong. If you will regret what you wrote in a month or a week then think about it before you do it.

I personally am not on a quest to have the most FB friends. If I don't know you and you cannot introduce yourself before sending a friend request then don't bother. If I know you didn't like me and you just want to know my business then your request will be ignored, and if by any chance I have dated you in the past and you think we are going to rekindle something I can assure you we won't!

I might catch some slack for saying what I have said but if you feel some kind of way then your motives were suspect to begin with. If you could care less what I say then I appreciate you accepting this blog as an expression of MY own personal opinion.

Happy Facebooking!!

Playing Us Close

They say women love hard and are emotional creatures. They say that woman get attached and hate to let go. The irony in both statements is that while men might not allow themselves to get "caught up" unless they purposely send you off, they never want to see you go. They want to keep you around because they fear if you go that door is closed and they can't get you back. Its actually quite selfish when you think about it. Why try to to keep a woman close if you cannot offer her all that she needs? Why try to keep a woman close if your desire to keep her near is derived from mere greed and selfishness, Why try to keep a woman close when even you know she is better off without you then with you?

By "playing us close" does the man then change and rectify some of the woman previous gripes? Or, is it just a lame speech that will pretty much result in more of the same?

A man will not let go unless its a decision that he has come to on his own; however, while that man is contemplating what to do, its up to the woman to take action and decide what is best for her. During the era of strong black woman like Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey, "playing us close" in 09' is just not good enough anymore. Fellas, step up or move out the way.

Mr. Officer, Mr. Officer

My 4th of July was great, almost perfect. I went to a family cookout and saw cousins I have not seen in years. We ate, reminisced, socialized and just chilled. After eating more than I probably should have I went home and awaited the plans for the night. Around 9:30, I decided to head out and go visit my line sister who was only in town for the weekend. It was a 40 minute hike but hey Hyde is well worth it.

When I arrived I was welcomed by a huge family with food galore and jokes for days. For the next 2 hours I can honestly say all I did was eat and laugh and I mean tears in your eyes, your belly's hurting kind of laughing. Around 1am, I decided it was time for me to go home. As I drove home with a feeling of satisfaction reflecting on how fun my 4th was this year, just as I was about to say it was puuurrrfect "woop woop" the sirens went off and I realized I was being pulled over.

Initially, I was a little annoyed but I had my seat belt on, I wasn't speeding so I really was not worried about why I was being pulled over. Mr. Officer, informed me that he was pulling me over because my tints were a violation. Now in my head I said to myself "why does any of this matter if I wasn't speeding or running a red light or committing a major crime" but I digress.

Mr. Officer, proceeded to do the tint check which was followed by him requesting my license and registration so he could issue me a ticket. My mindset at the time was "Its 2am, give me the darn ticket and let me go home!" Twenty minutes later, I was livid. I have always wondered what takes them so long to write a ticket! I decided to update my FB status in a attempt to calm me down and here comes Mr. Officer knocking on my window. He went into this long soliloquy about the tickets he was giving me and the reasoning behind it. That's when I realized......he said "TICKETS". Mr. Officer, was kind enough to give me 3 tickets and 10 days to remove the tints from my windows. I could not believe it.

If you know me, you know by now we have a serious problem but what could I really say? That this was BS and ask him "WTF??" of course I couldn't say that so instead, I mentally checked out of the conversation. Mr. Officer, realized I wasn't listening, had me sign for the 3 tickets and 10 day deadline and proceeded to walk away. .

Mr. Officer, stopped and said "Can I ask why the attitude?" OMG, he really asked me that. That was like lighting a flame to a match. I immediately opened my mouth to respond and then I stopped. I took a deep breath and said the following: "No disrespect, but I think it is crazy that you are giving me 3 tickets. I just got off of 495 and there are people doing 95mph. There are people being robbed and murdered and little girls being rapped and instead of you fighting the real crimes you pull me over when I am not speeding, not driving drunk, I have my set belt on and all I am trying to do at 2:00am is go home. You pull harmless me over and slapped me with not 1, not 2 but 3 tickets! That is why the attitude." In that single moment one huge tear rolled down my face.

My speech left my mouth opened, even I couldn't believe it. Of course it was too late for Mr. Officer to do anything about the tickets he had already issued me, but I know he knew I had a valid point. Mr. Officer proceeded to tell me that he is a "traffic officer" and his job is to ensure traffic safety which is why he issued me the tickets. He then attempted to make it seem like he gave me a heads up on how to fight the tickets; but, the fact still remains that I have 10 days to remove my tints and it will probably require 1 full day off from work to resolve this silliness.

I am not sure why I let Mr. Officer know why I was mad, nor am I sure why he even asked. I didn't yell but lets just say he never had to say "I can't hear you ma'am". I don't suggest nor encourage anyone to do what I did, and I admit I am lucky it didn't turn out worse then it did. I will say this though, I know without a shadow of a doubt Mr. Officer will never forget how valid my argument was, I saw it in his face! Its kind of sad that in the 35 minutes in total I was detained, I wonder how many real crimes were going unnoticed.

Nonetheless, I will not let this kill my joy. If anyone knows how much it costs to remove tints please let me know. I do not know how I am going to break it to "Ally" as to why she is getting downgraded, (she looked so HOT too) but I must do what I must do.

What a crazy world!

"Whaaw whaaw gimme your #!"

With all that is going on in the world I am really amazed at how immature some people can be. I was at the gym the other day trying to get my work out on and this guy walked over to the machine next to me and said hello. As he grinned from ear to ear he proceeded to ask me my name and where I was from. Not sure if I was really interested I responded politely and said to myself "hmm......he's kind of cute lets see if he has any game." He mentioned that he saw me at the gym before and I guess he saw me that day and just decided to go for it since the gym was pretty empty. Now, I am open to good conversation however, if you are going to come talk to me at least bring your A game or some kind of personality pleeaaassse!

The gentlemen proceeded to tell me his name and then immediately asked me if I was single. Taken aback that my dating status was only his 3rd question I subtly redirected a question back to him and asked him where he was from. We went back and forth in an awkward discussion that did not flow too smooth for the next 8 minutes. The guy followed me from machine to machine talking and asking questions as if it looked like I could lift weights and talk simultaneosly.

Sensing my frustration, Mr. No Game asked me if he asked for my number would I give it to him? I told the boy, I mean guy to give me his number and I would call him. His response was "when do you want me to give you my number?" I'm not trying to be stuck up but you have to be kidding me! What kind of question is that?. If a man is interested he should make it happen and that is that. Asking me when should he give me his number and if I am going to call can be a little annoying when someone is seriously trying to work out.

In frustration, I told the guy it was nice meeting him and he could give me the number the next time he saw me since I didn't have any pockets. Dismissing him was not my intention but hey, since he couldn't get his game together a woman had to do what she had to do.

I saw Mr. No Game at the gym 2 days later and he walked straight past me as if he didn't try to holla at me 2 days prior. Shaking my head I laughed and made an attempt to be the bigger person by saying hello, but Mr. No Game never made eye contact.

In a situation like this a man makes himself look very silly and very salty when he responds this way. I will never understand why guys approach woman without putting much thought into their approach,and then throw silent tantrums when they get rejected. What happened to the old adage " If you fail to plan, you plan to fail?".

What made this story even more humorous is that when I updated my FB status with a shorter version of this story, I insinuated that men are babies and I received several comments on Mr. No Games behavior. "Give him a break", "Cut him some slack" was just a few of the comments I received. My personal favorite was: "Yes we are! Whaaa whaaa give me ur #! :)"

Men, when you approach a woman please come with your A game. If you have no game then at least have personality. If you have no personality then....I'm sorry, but maybe you shouldn't bother,<......PERSONALITY REQUIRED!!!!!