My Theory

"Forget what you heard, recognize what you see. I know you heard the here's the real me." XoXo

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Is It Love?

What is love? Some will say it is the feeling of butterflies which flutter in your stomach until your knees buckle. Others will describe it at the felling of not wanting to live without someone cause you can't remember life before that person. And the mature at heart will say its when you genuinely care about someone to the point where you want what is truly best for them at all times.

They say you don't fall in love you consciously walk right love; Yet, is this emotion we call love real or is it an emotional excuse for a irresponsible unexplainable behavior? When a man falls in love with another woman while he is married can that really be love? When a woman traps a man with pregnancy because she wants to keep him in her life is that really love? And when a woman allows herself to be beaten or cheated on in hopes that "he will change" is that naive behavior generated from the emotion we call love?

The word love has been used so casually that the true meaning has been lost in translation. People will say they love you but their actions will reflect what is more of a deep like. This deep like that one feels when they believe they are "in love" is usually exaggerated. This feeling is often manipulated by the vulnerable emotional side of the brain which was once influenced by fantasies from daytime soaps, love stories, fairy tales,romantic novel and the naive idea of what we think love should be instead of what it is.

The Bible says "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

If you match this Biblical passage with the way in which we love someone is it really love? The Bible has set a blueprint for how we should love our mates, our families, friends and mankind. However, in our day to day encounters do our behaviors really mimic God's description of love? If we attempted to love in the way that God described would we find that we really love the people we think we do, or have our emotions manipulated what is really just a deep like?

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Day I Realized I LOVED My Life- My Testimony

The day I realized I loved my life wasn't the day I hit the lotto. It wasn't the day I met the love of my life and got married and it wasn't the day I gave birth to my first child. The day I realized I loved my life was when in the blink of an eye I realized it could all be gone. It was the day my heart and mind was grieved with fear. I didn't cry that day, I wept, like I never wept before. As my mind filled with skepticism, I wondered if I would ever get to live and accomplish my dreams. I thought about all the small things that once stole my joy. I told God that "this can't happen to me, I still have to use my gift, get married and have the twins." Yet my mind raced back to all the self doubting thoughts that use to consume me because I feared those things would never happen. Without a moments hesitation I told God, "you still have a work for me, this isn't in our plan." Yet, before that moment, there were so many times I was filled with sadness, doubting if there was such a purpose. How did I know these things now that my life was threatened yet doubted them when life was just fine?

48 hours prior to that dreadful day I had shunned God and told him no longer will I believe. But the first name I called upon during this dreadful experience was God. All my life I questioned if God heard me? If he heard my prayers? Yet on this day I prayed and I knew that God heard me. I had no doubt that he heard my prayers through that experience so why did I doubt him all this time? Why did I question his presence all along yet in the time of need know that he would be there for me?.

I thought back to the times I allowed myself to get upset over silliness. I thought back to all the challenges and disappointments that stole my joy. I shook my head ashamed of my previous behaviors and my vulnerable state humbled me and showed me just how much a work in progress I am. It was on that day that I didn't gripe about the people missing from my life; Instead, I clung to the stranger who was compassionate enough to console me through that dreadful moment. Who she was and who should have been there with me were thoughts that was absent from my mind. Instead I was overwhelmed with gratitude that someone...anyone could help in the smallest way.

It was worst moment of my life, a day I will never forget. So many things still left to do, so many people I still have to get through to. Men and shoes, working out and shopping, the activities that were once so important to me became so irrelevant at that point. It was only 2 things I thought about during those dark moments....MY family and MY purpose. In the darkest moments just like that, I realized what was most important to me. How do you worry about leaving a child that you haven't had yet? How do you mourn over leaving your husband that you haven't even met yet? But more is your heart overwhelmed with sorrow for not fulfilling a purpose your haven't even clearly identified yet?

It was after that moment that I found faith that I never had before. I found humbleness that I wish I had a long time time ago, and I found myself realizing that I love my life just as it is. On the way home I did something I don't typically do unless I'm traveling for a distance,...I put on my seat belt. I drove the speed limit and I didn't think to yell at the slow drivers in my way, I waited patiently saying to myself...."what's the rush?". I thought about all the people who wronged me and no longer could I remember the hurt they once caused me. I just remembered this amazing gift that I had....MY LIFE.

Today I reflect where I was just 2 days ago and I barely recognize myself. I am happy not because anything special happened to me today, I am happy because I have a good life. God has spared my life on many occasions and that day was no different. I am humbled, I am grateful, and I am at peace. I don't wait on confirmation to believe, because it was at my weakest moment, I realized I believed all along.

Appreciate life, find your purpose and pursue God, the rest will fall into place.

The details surrounding this experience is irrelevant.......the lesson priceless!

Monday, June 21, 2010

What Does Your Style Say About You?

Everyday the busy streets of New York are compiled with fashionista's and trendsetters all clicking their heels to the beat of their own drum. Known as the fashion capital of the US to some and to others the place where trends are born, New York City is the place where fashion is an expression of art and emotion.

Void of self doubt and insecurities New York City is filled with bold self expression and catwalks that beg any and everyone to watch. Whether its a gothic look, a urban look, a Jackie O look or a metro-sexual look, the streets of New York will never disappoint you. While looking at a girl with booty shorts worn over candy striped tights paired with cowboy boots, my mother phrased it best when she said "everyone in New York has something to say."

New Yorkers use fashion as expression. Sarah Jessica Parker, has become a fashion icon because of the uniquely trendsetting outfits she wore on Sex And The City. Sixteen years later, the fashion world is still wearing the oversized sunglasses Jackie Kennedy first introduced. Anna Wintour,editor of Vogue magazine has revamped the corporate America look with her "fearsomely smart" and sexy outfits that were viewed in The Devil Wears Prada; And can been seen on any New York City street Monday through Friday.

The limits of fashion in New York are boundless. Free from judgement and ridicule New Yorkers have fashionably declared emancipation. Privileged to posses the same sense of independence as a New York native, I myself embrace the freedom of fashion expression. I will pair hot red lips with the most innocent outfit one can imagine. I will pin a beautiful flower on a simple blouse and on a rainy day make my own sun shine. I will buy a pair of shoes the average person would not be bold enough to even think to wear and match it with a simple outfit giving it a precise yet effortless look.

An expression of freedom and emotion everyone has their own sense of style and look they hope to convey. It can be a subtle form of expression or a bold form of expression, but as my mom always says "everyone has something to say."

What does your sense of fashion say about you?

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Could I Give It All Up?

While laying on the the massage table receiving my quarterly hot stone therapy treatment, I began to let my mind enter the world of free thought and total bliss. As my mind drifted I began to wonder...If I had to could I give this all up? The quarterly massages, the expensive shoes, the shopping sprees at Nordstroms, the spontaneous trips to Chicago, LA and Vegas, my bi-weekly moments of over indulgence at Whole Foods and my overly expensive membership at my luxury gym. Could I give it all up if it meant I could do what I feel in my heart? Could I trade my gym membership for a free run in the park? could I trade my spontaneous trips for a trip to Ocean City instead? Could I trade Nordy's for H&M and Ross? and most of all could I give up my love of expensive shoes and electrical gadgets for peace of mind?

With my eyes closed in deep thought I heard the hesitation as I tried to answer that question. My heart said hell yeah! these are material things that I can live without because it would only be for a short time...but my heart also said it's these same little luxuries that make my world go round.

After 50 minutes of peace and tranquility I let my mind wonder again, except this time my thoughts were more definitive. This time I saw the bigger picture and I saw my current luxuries are by no means a worthwhile trade for my soul. This life of convenience and constant treats is a great life; But,life is not about how many shoes you have or places you have traveled to. Life is about the mark that you make in the world and the people you will touch along the way.

They say if you love what you do, you will never work another day in your life. The road to that path is rocky, and at times I may question if I did the right thing. I will wonder if I should have made the best of what I had. But in the dark hidden moments between me, myself and I, I know with purpose and a clear mind that "work" is not in my future. The days of luxuries and convenience will return 10 fold, except this time it will not be at the expense of my dreams. Success is not how much money you make but it is knowing you are fulfilling your true purpose. So with each day I prepare for my journey and am inspired and encouraged by those who have already made the trade.

To some, this may seem senseless...but for me its MY pursuit for happiness.

What mark will you make?

Monday, June 7, 2010

The Game Is BACK!!

After 3 Seasons and record high ratings during syndication, BET has officially picked up The Game and it will return to TV this fall for Season 4. Originally a spin off from Girlfriends, The Game depicts the love and drama of medical student Tia Mowry and Sabers football player Pooch Hall along with their friends. The show initially aired on Mondays and then was switched to Friday nights which resulted in the low ratings that eventually got the show cancelled.

As of now, all of the original cast will be returning. Fans of the show was ecstatic to hear that the show would be returning and BET'S Loretha Jones stated, "I'm extremely happy to announce the absolute worst-kept secret in the world."

If you have never watched The Game please check it out this fall on BET. The Game, is one of the few shows left that reflects a positive image of young African Americans and black love at its truest and REALest form. No ghetto story line, no obscene nudity and profanity, a good clean entertaining storyline about life's good and bad times.

For viewers who have followed The Game, will Melanie and Derwin's marriage survive Derwin's irresponsible decisions? Will Jason and Kelly find their way back to each other, after Stacy Dash? Will Tasha hook the overly charismatic Rick Fox or will she continue to run him away? And, will Malik Wright be as fine as he has been in Season's 1-3?

Stay tuned for more details to come.....