My Theory

"Forget what you heard, recognize what you see. I know you heard the here's the real me." XoXo

Friday, December 31, 2010

I can't say I am sad to see you go because I am glad to see you leave. I welcome the new memories and the new blessings that are to come and I kiss goodbye the tears and moments of sadness life brought me throughout 2010. Its lifes hardest lessons that make you stronger. Its the tears that come from deep within that teach you to stop making the same mistakes. Its those moments of self reflection that you have when you can't sleep at night that gives you instruction on what you need to do and why you can't be afraid to step out and just do it.

There are those moments in life right before change comes when you have the choice to stick with what you know or take a leap of faith. Those moments in which you are scared and afraid of the decision at hand. For me, 2011 is all about what is behind the mystery door. I am leaving my fears behind and I am ready to step away from what I know to venture out to the unknown. Sometimes playing it safe is the right thing to do, but other times it can hold you back from your dreams and all that you aspire to be. Saying goodbye to 2010 means saying goodbye to my fears, my weaknesses, and my mistakes. Saying goodbye to 2010 means coming into my true self, embracing who I am and all I want in life, by reaching my fullest potential and becoming the person I always wanted to be....Me.

Goodbye 2010 I'm not sad to see you go, I'm actually glad to watch you leave.

What does saying goodbye to 2010 mean to you?

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Final Days Where Do You Stand?

The other day I was reading a very informative article about goal setting. While goals should be set all year around it seems as though New Years is the most popular time of year for people to set goals. Some of these reformations and proclaimations to abandon bad habits or set new routines are lost in translation and are never acted upon or completed. Other goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relistic and timely and therefore become goals that are actually accomplished.

The article mainly discussed prioritizing what you really want out of life and deciding on what you are willing to do to make it happen. The (3) questions that left me pondering were:

1. What bad habbits are you willing to let go?
2. What "shoulds" are you willing to make into MUSTS?
3. Are you courageous enough to let go and leave room for the the marvelous unknown to fill the void?

In the last (2) remaining days of the year I will come up with the answers to these questions and really set clear consise measurable goals. I accomplished alot this year but I know I could have accomplised even more. The main thing to keep in mind as we go into the new year is "the quality of your future depends on the actions you take now."

What actions will you take?

Whats In Your Purse?

I have always wondered how woman can almost never leave home without a purse whereas a man just has a few personal objects he can throw in his pocket. A wallet, keys, chapstick and loose change, seems to be all a man needs to leave home however, every woman has personal items they just can't leave home without.

Recently, I have tossed away all the things that have been adding clutter my purse and I now carry only what I need. The picture below shows my everyday essentials: From left to right:

Ipod Touch and H&M case, Blackberry, clutch wallet, Droid (work phone), peppermint (fresh breath is not an option), Cobalt gum (its the best!!) clear lip gloss, Palmer's Coco Butter (perfect for cold weather and can be used as a great moisturizer after a long flight, Urban Outfitters ID case (why put your ID all in one place?), Yogi Tea- Licorice (not sure why I always carry a spare tea bag but I do) Loreal Blush (a dab of color can always add to your look). Laura Geller's Blush and Brighten (good for instant glow), Rimmel's Eye Magnifier (this is by far the best mascara I have ever worn), Usher Perfume (I just got this and it smells amazing), LA Girl Fine Tap Liquid Liner(makes a perfect line no matter how unsteady your hand is), and Nubian Heritage Goat Milk & Chai Hand Cream(keeping the hands properly moisturized is a must).

I typically store all these products in a case but due to my holiday traveling I figured it would be easier to check in without it. My recommendation for a good case would be the Centennial Stripe Medium Makeup Bag by Henry Bendel. It is very classy and actually stores a lot.

What's in your purse????

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Going Going GONE!!!!

It's been so long since I have written but I have thought about and missed my blog so much lately. While inspiration has definitely not been a factor, lack of time, lack of a new blog name and lack of concentration has played a tremendous factor in my absence. In the past (2) weeks so much as gone on. I moved to North Carolina, I have a new apartment, I started a new position, and I have a whole new lease on life.

The move in itself was catastrophic! There was a lot of worrying, a lot of arguing, a lot of unexpected expenses and overall just very stressful. It wasn't until (3) days before my actual move date that I found a place to live and a moving company that was somewhat affordable but not really. On the move day itself one might have described me as a full fledged maniac. After 24 hours of no sleep, a few hours before the move I realized that in my attempt to reduce the cost of the move by driving up some of the boxes myself, I realized my car could not hold all the stuff the movers left behind. I also realized that there was so many unfinished tasks we forgot about it caused us to be (2) hours behind schedule. This (2) hour delay then resulted in me driving down 85 like a mad woman trying to catch up to the moving truck. By time we arrived we had 15 minutes to sign the lease and speak with the rental office and my 2 hours of tardiness cost me $200 since the movers beat me to my apartment.

Surprisingly, as stressful as everything was it all worked out in the end. I don't know how I was able to afford it all but lets just say I was blessed. I started my new position the following day and although I know it will be very challenging, I also know that this position will really help me accomplish some of my goals financially, socially and professionally. Thus far my co-workers have warmly welcomed me and while I still get lost to and from work everyday, I have identified a new found inner peace within myself.

All and all I am slowly getting acclimated with my new life, my new job and my new surroundings. My favorite lunch spots are still close to me and the luxury gym that I loved so much in Maryland, is here as well. It seems as though I got to keep my same life just with new friends, new faces and new challenges. Words cannot express how grateful I am to have identified a form of routine lately that has helped me maintain my balance and my attention; but, I am so grateful for all that I have been blessed with and the new things to come in 2011.

Two month ago, moving to North Carolina was the one of the furthest thoughts from my mind and now just like that I am here. My haters have accused me of running from some of my problems and my true friends have wished me only the best and have supported my decision. City girl or not I think this move to NC is a good thing and it is going to be VERY interesting.

Stay tuned!!!

BTW I am still taking suggestions for a new name for my blog, please feel free to share your suggestions.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Men Have Clocks Too

A few weeks ago I was contacted by an old acquaintance from high school who use to have a crush on me. As we exchanged pleasantries over email he asked me if I was married and how many kids did I have. When I responded and told him I wasn't married yet so therefore I do not have any kids yet he said he was shocked. Fast forward to a few weeks later, in the midst of another conversation he approached the subject again and asked me what was I waiting for to have kids since we are not getting any younger? A question like that would have really pissed me off months ago; but, instead of getting angry with him for sounding like someone who can't wait to be a grandfather, I flipped it on him. I simply asked him what was his fascination with me having kids?. Imagine my surprise when he confessed that all his boys had kids and he was starting to feel a little bit left out. He mentioned that he was 33 and did not want to be an old dad and that he felt like it was time.

His confession was quite shocking to hear because society has always painted woman as the victims of the "my clock is ticking" mentality. Woman are typically the ones doomed with the thought they must have kids by a certain age or else. I'm not sure if it was refreshing to hear that men are plagued by some of the same fears woman are or if it was a turn off, but it was definitely interesting to hear.

Men are always portrayed as strong, confident go getter's who don't have to worry about things like kids and marriage because it just happens for them. The media never portrays men as individuals ready and waiting for children, wondering if it's going to be too late. I must admit its nice to know deep down beneath the facade of coolness and nonchalance, that sometimes men share the same concerns and worries as woman. I assured my friend that he will make a great dad when the time is right and to not worry about how young he is. During the course of my journey I realized that when it is right, it just worry necessary.

My Early Christmas Present

It looks like Christmas came early for me this year. Last Monday I accepted an offer for a new job in......North Carolina. That's right, I'm moving to North Carolina. For those of you who follow my blog you might remember a post I wrote in February about how I wanted to move. Well as I said in my last post "Becareful What You Write" it looks like my wish has come true. The doors this new position can open for me are endless and I am estactic.

This is a promotion that I did not expect but one I am truly thankful for. I can honestly say that I am excited and scared at the same time. It will be challenging moving to a new place and starting over however, this opportunity could not have come at a better time. It seems that as you get older or wiser you start to recognize the mistakes you made along the way. Sometimes you can fix these mistakes and other times you just can't. In this instance I get to take my lessons and start over and I cannot tell you how grateful I am for that. I am fired up and truly inspired by my new boss. A fresh start, a new beginning and a brand new job, what better way to start 2011.

In the upcoming weeks I will be packing and enjoying my last few weeks in MD. I just realized I will have to change my blog because this BK vixen is now going to NC!!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Uggs and Choo's? I think Not!

Every woman wants a pair of Jimmy Choo's and most woman already have at least one pair of Uggs. But what happens when you take Jimmy Choo's and merge them with Uggs? You get this:

A devout fan of Jimmy Choo's and definetly a fan of Uggs, unfortunately, I have to give this uncanny collaboration a thumbs down. Aside from the clutter of decor around the boot itself, the Jimmy Choo concept is totally missing in this collaboration. These low end over priced boots start at a whooping $700.00 and I wouldn't believe Jimmy Choo had anything to do with them if it was listed as a special edition on the Ugg website itself.

The best of both worlds merged together in this case cleary resulted in a mess. This is one Ugg trend I will have to pass on. What are YOUR thoughts??

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Be careful What You Write

In the next couple of weeks I expect to post some very exciting news. The beginning of this year I blogged about some of the things I wanted to do and the changes I wanted to make. What I realized is that when you write things down, its almost like writing your future, those things come true.

Two years ago my pastor told me about a Vision Book, where you post pictures or list the things that you envision for yourself. I can honestly say that I have three pages of dreams/wishes that have actually come to past. I believe that this one will be no different.

I am so excited and just want to blurt the news to everyone but I will wait. Be careful of what you wish for in life because those things just might come true so you better be ready. I know I am!

Stay tuned.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Brand Yourself!

In life you will meet those who add value to your life and those who live to see you at your worst. In the midst of these obstacles your strength will always come from knowing who you are and letting no one tell you differently. After deep self reflection I saw some areas in myself I wasn't happy to see. I have always been a confident person. Confident about my looks, my body and my intellect so imagine my surprise when I realized beneath the layers of confidence and borderline conceit lied small traces of weakness and insecurities for my enemies/haters to prey on. I never knew I had such areas and before I knew how to tackle those weaknesses I had to get over the guilt I had for allowing myself to have weakness to begin with.

My mother had raised my siblings and I to be so strong and to not take crap, but after deep evaluation I saw how much crap I had allowed and I don't know what was worst, the hurt I endured from the accumulation of crap or the disappointment in myself for displaying a weakness to begin with. Nonetheless, they say you learn by experience and those are the lessons you will never forget, so I tell you today KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH. When you go on a job interview know that it's not just a great opportunity for you, but choosing you is a great opportunity for them. Treat your friends with love always have their back, but make sure your devotion as a friend is being appreciated and reciprocated because good friends are hard to find. If your girls are always banking on your generosity and support but can never be there for you in your times of need, then you need to find new girls and acquaint yourself with like minded people. When you are selecting a mate in the dating stage if you think you are the Series 7 of all woman, don't allow anyone to treat you any less. This doesn't mean you have to be conceited or think you are better than anyone it simply means you know your worth and your only interested in those who can appreciate you and treat you accordingly. If someone is only going to take away from you instead of adding to you...loose them quickly or else you will loose you.

This concept of self worth is nothing new we heard it all before. Except today I take it a step further and I say identify yourself with a brand and brand yourself. Harry Winston is one of the worlds most lavish diamond stores. There are very few Harry Winston stores and by no means does Mr. Winston specialize in sales and bargains. Mr. Winston does not question why more people go into Kay's and Jareds. Mr. Winston undoubtedly knows that his diamonds are top of the line and that very few people know fabulosity to that degree let alone have the means to afford it.

I encourage you all to brand yourself. Make a custom made label with directions and care for instructions as well. If people can't care for you per your instructions DELETE them from your life. And while this may sound harsh, which is worse standing up for yourself and deleting someone who mistreats you or siting back and watching yourself get mistreated? Know your worth, I do!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Ex Factors

The other day I received a Facebook message from one of my ex's. It read "Hey, haven't heard from you in a while how are you?" A while to be exact is 3 years and to answer the question I am doing GREAT. Its funny when you THINK your in love, you have a false reality of your emotions a false reality of what is, but once you come to your senses, once you had a chance to detox and get back to who you are you thank God for the lessons learned and you move on better equipped than you ever were before.

As we get older it becomes more and more evident that people are temporary. Many will come even more will go but there are seasons in life and everyone is not meant to be in your life forever. The Ex that sent me a Facebook message has served his purpose. There is no need for me to respond with small talk and pleasantries. I harbor not one ounce of bad will for him BUT once I realize someones purpose and I am clear on what role that person was designed to play in my life, I can and will keep it moving and never look back.

Ironically, a few days later I saw a photo of a more recent ex on facebook, he is now married with 2 kids and a baby on the way. While it was weird seeing someone I once loved and cared for all grown up and married, I can honestly say I felt nothing but sheer happiness for him. It wasn't the happiness that you send a email or facebook message and say congratulations, it was moreso the happiness where you smile and send them light and you wish them well from afar. I know he wasn't the person for me and I understand the purpose he SERVED in my life so words are no longer needed.

The process from uncertainty to clarity can be tumultuous but when you finally find clarity you can put things prespective. The love of your life in the 10th grade wasn't really the love of your life but just a guy you loved. The guy you once thought was your soulmate and who you wanted to marry wasn't really your soulmate, but rather a really good mate for your soul at the time. And the guy you once thought was the one...well he wasn't really THE one, but moreso the one who taught you the most and hurt you the worst so that when your ONE finally came you was ready.

The maturity and the clarity the lesson of love can bring especially a lost lost is priceless. There is always a valuable lesson to be learned from an EX so don't hate them, recognize the value they added and release your heart to find better because there IS better, and if you follow that recipe, you can move on without looking back.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Invest In YOU!

In a hectic world where the theme is multi task, when you have not one minute to spare and your blackberry becomes your personal assistant, oftentimes people get lost in their schedules. In this case the solution is easy, clear your plate of some of your activities and schedule more time for yourself. But what happens when the solution is not so easy? What happens when you lose yourself in your relationship and the sole purpose of your life is now consumed around your kids or your mate?

I have heard countless woman cry or express feeling of loneliness when they are in full fledged relationships some even married. The common story is usually that the woman feels neglected by her man and often finds herself waiting for him schedule her in for attention. This gripe is common with both married and single woman in serious relationships. While speaking to a close girlfriend of mine who is married with 4 kids, she confided in me that her husband barely spends any time with her. Between their kids extracurricular activities and their conflicting work schedules, she confessed that they barely see each other let alone spend quality time. "When we are finally home at the same time, he is either watching the sport or he is in the basement hanging with his boys" she said sadly. She is usually taking care of their 2yr old daughter lingering around the house waiting for some quality time.

When I asked her if she ever goes out with her girls or goes out period, she said no. She indicated that she feels guilty leaving her 2yr old daughter and her husband makes her feel guilty as well. I could only shake my head as she told me this because I found it ironic that her husband can chill and hang with his friends without feeling guilty but the minute his wife thinks to do it, she's wrong for even entertaining the thought. Aside from her favorite TV shows my girl has not one hobby. Not one thing that she does just for her outside of her responsibilities as a wife and mother.

Now I know I am by far no expert on relationships but I wonder, why do woman often give up so much of themselves to have a man when that same man manages to multi task and have it all. A woman will give up Friday nights with her girls, her routine workouts, her scheduled spa appointments, her book club, and her community service work she USE to do to just to sit in the house and wait for her man. Meanwhile, her man has his Saturday basketball games, his weekly 2 hours of leisure at the barber shop, his daily workouts at the gym, Thursday night football, Sunday night football, Monday night football and don't forget the days when he wants to hang with the boys PLUS the "time" he needs for himself.

Some woman may claim that by time they finish taking care of the kids or finish work they just want to unwind; But, while that may be fine for you, know that your mate might have a full to do list for the entire week which might not include watching Desperate Housewives reruns with you. Of course a man that loves and cares for you will spend time with you but typically most woman require a lot of attention and if they don't have other areas of interest or activities in their own lives their mate will bare the brunt of their neediness. So ladies I speak from past experience, no matter how tired you are, pop some multi vitamins and make time for yourself. Invest in yourself and make sure you have your own things going on. If you do not have any hobbies find some! Possible hobbies can be: reading, writing, working out, hosting get parties, arts and crafts, cooking, baking, sewing, mentoring, the lists goes on. Hobbies make people interesting, so find something you like and invest in you!!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I'm Just Saying

Today is a list of random rants that have spiked a reaction from me:

1. What does someones sexual preference have to do with their ability to go to war? I'm just saying....

2. So Reggie Bush had to give back his Heisman for accepting money but Republican senate candidate Christine O'Donnell can use campaign funds to pay her rent and other personal expenses? I'm just saying.....

3. Did Lil Wayne really call the lovely ladies of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc.
B*@!hs? Weezy what has ZPHIB done to you??? I'm just saying...

4. Did Pretty Boy Player Floyd really buy 2 different diamond rings or did he recycle 1? Come on Floyd what about Chilli? I'm just saying...

5. Now that she is finished with Reggie Bush and Miles Austin is Kim Kardashian going to date Ochocinco and Tony Romo??? come on Kimmie no more NFL players!! I'm just saying.......

6. Did TI and Tiny both get arrested a few weeks ago for drug possession when they are not only 30 but they are parents? Wow get it together, I'm just saying...

7. Is Wyclef really going to go back to music as if he wasn't just trying to be the President of Haiti a few weeks ago?

8. Do we really want to see Brandy on Dancing with the Stars? I think not! I'm just saying....

9. Did Soulja boy really step to Fabulous saying he could end his musical career?? Yeah right, with what? pretty boy swag? I'm just saying......

10.So now that Michael Vick is starting for the Philadelphia Eagles will that really make a difference? NOPE, I'm just saying....

Thanks for reading my rants this week. Stay tuned to see who will make the cut next week!

Love or Lust- What You See Is Not Always What You Get

Have you every brought an expensive item that you just had to have? Whether it was a car, shoes, a purse or even a electronic gadget have you ever lusted for something just to get it and realize its not what you thought. The features that initially sold you are now really unimportant and whatever started your fascination with the purchase has now worn off. Compare that with something else you brought yet years later you still truly love it. This item is still worth every penny and instead of looking for your receipt to do a return you would do it all over again. This is the difference between lust and love.

Lust wears off and the moment the true flaws are revealed you want to run like hell and return it. You begin to question yourself and wonder why you did not read the fine print. Why you didn't see the red flags like the zipper that gave you a little bit of a struggle, or small dent that you convinced yourself was only visible to you. These are the flaws that you overlooked in the midst of your lust. You thought you could live with them but now you realize this small flaw that you once over looked has now evolved to a really big issue.

Love on the otherhand withstands the true test of time. Despite the flaws you learn to overcome the fact that your $800 Louboutins scuff every time you wear them because they make you feel unstoppable and overall you are so happy with them it doesn't matter. You can overlook the fact that the salesman told you your seats have automatic heating when they really don't because the car has every other feature known to man you can live without one. This feeling of contentment comes from knowing you did the necessary research first and that your purchase was not an impromptu purchase but a well thought out decision.

In our everyday lives lust is everywhere. Lust manipulates your mind and forces you to go against your better judgment, causing you to get caught up in the bells and whistles. This is the difference between love and lust. Love withstands and lust fades away. Things are not always what they seem so whether it is an elaborate purchaser, a person you desired or a object you have obsessed over, make sure you absolutely LOVE it cause lust will fool you.

What have you been lusting for?

DC Cocktails with Belle

Twice a year Essence writer and dating expert Demetria Lucas, hosts a networking cocktail event for like minded woman looking to advance their careers. As woman throughout the DMV area gathered for the event, Demetria, better known as a Belle In Brooklyn, was fashionably dressed and greeted her guest with genuine warmth and sincerity. As the host of the event Belle introduced herself to everyone and had no problem sharing her personal secrets to success.

The event had a wonderful turned out and the "no men allowed" rule forced the ladies to really meet and greet each other without the distraction of a man. The crowd ranged from successful lawyers and writers to college students and woman looking to transition their careers. With a room full of woman dressed in their afterwork best, mixing and mingling amongst themselves, there was nothing but opportunity for everyone.

DC Cocktails with Belle was an event that really hit on the true meaning of networking. I had an amazing time and met some important contacts while socializing with the other DC Belles.

Success is often manipulated by who you know, attend a few networking events, you never know who you may meet.

Belle and I

DC Belles' In True Networking Mode

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Perfect Concoction of A Man

African American men are something to behold. Imagine if you had the opportunity to taking the best of the best celebrity men and mix in the most significant qualities to make the perfect a man. Below are the ingredients for MY perfect celebrity concoction of a man.

Take the incredibly attractive and athletic Reggie Bush and add:
+ the body of Idris Elba
+ the sex appeal of Pooch Hall
+ the swag of Jay Z
+ the poetically mesmerizing words of Drake
+ the humor and wit of Kyle Heart
+ the ambition of Barak Obama
+ the sensual lips of LL Cool J
+ the sincere and trusting eys of Boris Kudjoe
+ the confidence of Denzel
+ the the good guy image of Lance Gross
+ the orientation of a family man like Will Smith
+ the humility and faithfulness of a man that knows and loves God.

Add that together and you have my perfection celebrity concoction of a man!

What does your perfect man look like??

Monday, September 6, 2010

Product Review: Aveda Comforting Tea

Aveda has really stepped it up with this product. I first tasted Aveda's Comforting Tea at a spa before I was about to receive my 50 minute massage. True to its name this delightful tea is both comforting and relaxing. 100% organic this tea is total bliss. When you first sip the tip its tasteless at first but has a sup rising kick of licorice and peppermint blend. With zero calories and no sugar or caffeine or flavors added this tea will sooth your nerves and relax your mind.

I typically drink this tea at night before bed and it works almost instantly. A mid-day sip of this tea will also refresh your nerves and put you in a calming place. While Aveda's Comforting Tea cannot be brought in any local store you can purchase it online at or at any luxury spa which carries Aveda products.

Aveda's Comforting Tea come in a box of 20 and is priced at $14.00 a box. While it is somewhat pricey you are guaranteed to savor this tea down to the very last drop. So the next time you need to relax and unwind instead of grabbing a glass of wine which has at least 85 calories, try Aveda's zero calories Comforting Tea.

To see more products from Aveda go to

Thursday, August 26, 2010

My Collabo- The Result of Too Much Radio

After listening to the radio for a few days I realized that I am a hot line fanatic. I love listening to a song and hearing something witty that makes me laugh and want to remember it. Ironically enough, today's music consists of nothing more than hot one liners and catchy beats. Rappers are rapping about what the singers are singing about and when you mix it together the story is simple, everyone thinks they're as good as it gets and rightfully so!

As a stickler for catchy one line phrases this is what happend when I took some of the hottest lines from rap and mixed it with some of the most emotionally felt lyrics of today's R&B. You will be suprised how many different artist lyrics I have included in this. Hope you enjoy!!!

"Everybody pay attention This right here is my pretty girl swag:
There goes my baby
You the total package plus you pay your taxes.
Don’t know who big Meech and Larry Hoover is but if you ask me I’m ready.
I’m not scared of lion tigers or bears but I’m scared of loving you
I done went through just about two packs of tissues baby and you’re looking at me like you ain’t the issue baby,
Should I grab his cell, call this chick up start some shhhh then hang up
Or I should I be a lady
Oohh maybe cuz I wanna have his babies nah forget that!!
You broke my heart so I broke your car
You caused me pain so I did the same
Even though what you did to me was much worse
I had to do something to make you hurt.
You was just messing with those girls you was gonna get right back??
Yeah right! If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it!!!!!
You told me to go to hell and now you’re just gonna stand there and watch me burn….well
that’s alright because I like the way it hurts, I’m not afraid and I love the way you lie
Too many times I’ve been wrong I guess being right takes too long.
Don’t you get it, I want things to go my way but as of late they been going sideways.
So you single for the night? Call you Larry Holmes?
You live a magnum lifestyle Mr. Bedrock?
Where they do that at? Roger that!
Nah forget that, and forget you cause I’m hotter than 100 degrees, pretty face, thin waist with the sick weave.
I’m Paula Patton, thick these legs just keep on going,
I look like yes she look like no! baby I’m a boss !!!
You can be chasing while your times being wasted cause they got nothing on me
Boy I’m so fancy!
I’m more than just a number I doubt you’ll find another,
You better find my love, you better find my heart
Cause I’m chuckin my deuces up! to something better
Better late than never
But never late is better
Be good or be good at it……whichever’s better!"

For those of you who really know music you can tell that I only had to add a few adjectives to get this to go together. Artists these days are saying much of the same thing, the only difference is how much wit they say it with.

What's YOUR favorite one liner?

Monday, August 23, 2010

How Naughty Are Your Nighties?

Are you a T-shirt and boxer kind of woman or a pretty nightgown kind of woman? Does your significant other glance over at you at nighttime and smile because even at the end of the day you still look amazing or does he secretly post questions on Facebook, about how to get you out of those ugly dingy T shirts you wear to bed?

Bedtime apparel requires effort despite its late night hour. Ladies what you wear to bed sets the tone for the night and indirectly develops a pattern for the nighttime routine you have with your mate or yourself. A recent survey showed 3 out of 5 woman do not invest in nightwear. Comfortable T-shirts and shorts was their preference.

With the number of options one can chose from when it comes to sleep wear it is baffling to hear that some woman still opt to wear raggedy T-shirts to bed. There's boy shorts and matching tanks, boxers and matching tanks, baby dolls nightgowns, lace nightgowns, satin pajama sets, exotic lingerie and even sexy looking cotton night gowns to choose from. These options are not staple items you wear on special occasions. These options are things you wear on a everyday basis to ensure you look good not only for your mate but for yourself. The best way to think about it is, if an emergency forced you to leave your house in the middle of the night would you really want to go out in public in your dingy over sized T-shirt with the hole under the arm?

While some of you may think this is meaningless banter I assure you it is not. A good friend of mine recently posted on his Facebook page that he wants his girlfriend to burn all her dingy T-shirt and grandma draws and get with the program because he was becoming more and more turned off by her. His Facebook status received 37 comments from men and woman giving him advice on how to get his girlfriend out of her hideous T-shirts. While its sad that he needed to result to such measures as posting his nighttime problems on Facebook, it shows the brother must really hate these T-shirts if he is putting his own business on blast.

If woman make it their business to remember just how visual men are small things like looking nice for bed and keeping yourself up will eliminate alot of negative energy in your relationship. Ladies in no way am I suggesting that you wear La Perla every night. The point is not to look good for someone else the point is to look good for you. Don't cheat yourself with ugly moments due to laziness. Looking good means feeling good and if you all you have are dingy T shirts find a cute baby T and wear it with nice underwear and watch how much more attractive you feel even if no one is looking.

Here are a few comfortable sleep options which says cute yet still sexy.

Happy sleeping!!

Monday, August 16, 2010

A Walk To Remember

After an emotionally tumultuous week, I decided to take a few days off to regroup. During my time off I planned on trying some new things to spice things up. I did all sorts of crazy liberating things, some I will tell you in upcoming posts, others I will keep to myself simply's none of your business.

On my last day off I decided I would take a trip to Virginia and go to a park I have never been to before. I called it my little adventure for the day. I started my adventure with a calm mind ready to take on what I thought was just a simple walk in the park. I was fully prepared with my water, snacks, sunscreen, comfortable shoes, and camera in tote. After doing a little research I knew not to carry a purse and the only thing I might should keep an eye out for was snakes. Nonetheless, I was on my way in full nature girl mode feeling relaxed and fearless at the same time.

My adventure started out amazing. The first thing I saw was an amazing waterfall that took my breath away. I was so excited once I saw the waterfall I couldn't wait to see more. Immediately I took off with my map in one hand water in the other and I was off. As I walked and walked and I began to realize I was no longer on a path but more so a trail. There was not many people along the path aside from the two guys i passed dressed in hiking gear. I kicked myself for wearing my gladiators instead of sneakers but I was in such a good mood I kept on undiscouraged. What started off as a walk in the park quickly turned into a full hike; because, before I knew it i was climbing rocks and the only thing in eyes view was dirt, trees and rocks.

For a moment I felt magical, like I was in a Harry Potter movie or in Twilight. It was just me and the forest. While I could not see anyone I heard echos. The more I walked the more I realized if something happened to me, not a soul would know where I was. Matter of fact, I realized if I did not pay attention I might not even know how to find my way back. I began to drop my peanuts and leave a trail just in case. Proud of my quick thinking I kept on going. Sticky from the forest dew and sweltering sun my water came in quite handy that is, until I realized it wasn't enough. I would like to think I'm in pretty good shape but I was exhausted and I had only been hiking for about 30 minutes. I looked at my map to see what the next landmark was but according to my map there was none. No silly convenience stores, no snack stands nothing just me and the trees.

Part of me felt liberated by my adventure another part of me thought about what my mother would say if she knew I was out there alone. Feeling like the "stupid girl" in the movies who goes off in some deserted location all alone, I began to hear more echo's. From the sound of them I could tell those voices were miles away. It was at this point that I began to get a little nervous that I might not be able to find my way back, and that this adventure might be way too much for one city girl all by herself.

For those who know me you might be surprised I was even interested in this little adventure but what most people don't know is that I use to be a girl scout. Camping, hiking, horseback riding, mountain climbing, count me in. So after I give myself the "don't be afraid I'm from Brooklyn pep talk" I continued my hike. I ignored the feeling of fear that is trying to grip me. A fear so bad it was far worse than the fear I had when I pledged. But again I reminded myself how tough I was then and that I'm tougher now so I continued. Just as I started to breath normal and relax a bit I looked up and stopped dead in my tracks.

On this sweltering sunny August day I had just made eye contact with a deer who was standing less that 15ft from me. My first thought was to scream and take off and run. However, given the shoes I was wearing I decided that was not smartest idea. I tried to recall any stories that I heard about deers attacking people but none came to mind. So I looked that deer in the eye and slowly began to walk backwards. I'm not sure why I had my hands up as if the police was after me, I guess that was my of telling the deer "I don't want no trouble" I walked backwards until the deer was out of sight. He never moved, he just looked at me as if I was intruding upon his territory. I pulled out my map and on the back of it I looked at all the things it said be cautious for: snakes, drowning, no swimming, no boating, it said absolutely nothing about deers. I knew then it was time for me to go home. I was way out of my league and by now I had no more water left.

My walk had now turned into a mild jog. My fear had elevated to pure fright. "What the hell was I doing out here?" I kept asking myself "and what was that noise behind me I kept hearing?" I st oped to see if the deer had followed me and I was relieved that it did not. That is, until I hear the bushes rustling and saw something black coming out of them. I wanted to scream, to run, to hide but I couldn't move. All I could? think of was what black girl dies in the park on a Monday afternoon from being eaten by a bear My attention sprung back to the black creature emerging from the bushes. As it came out with great force I covered my mouth and jumped. It wasn't a deer, It wasn't a bear it was a horse! No rider, no saddle, just a horse who decided to cross my path. Frozen in my steps I stood there stricken with fear as the horse ran to meet my friend Mr. Deer. I didn't breathe, I didn't blink and as soon as that horse was was outta sight I hightailed my butt out of that park.

I ran like I was running the Olympics. As I made it back to the Welcome Center people looked at me as if they were confused. Drenched in sweat, grass and spider webs I looked like I lost my mind. I finally caught my breath and again I referred back to my map which read beware of snakes, drowning, no swimming, no boating. It said nothing about deers and nothing about wild horses. I no longer cared how crazy I looked or how many people stared at me, all I knew was this was way more of an adventure than this city girl bargained for.

An hour later I was back in my safe haven where there was no wildlife. I sipped on my Frappachino and reflected on my day. While my adventure did not go as planned I came back with a heck of a story. I wanted to spice things up and I did. You can take the girl out the city and the city out the girl, but don't you dare put that girl in the woods.

Stay tuned for some of my other adventures!!!!!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Daddy's Lil Girl Gone XXXWild!!!

How sad is it that Laurence Fishburne is forced to try to hold his head up high while his 19 year old daughtter Montana Fisburne makes her love for the XXX world public. Cheaply dressed in panties and barely there emsembles Montana told E! she knew she wanted to become a porn star at 16 right after she lost her virginity. She said that seeing herself nude in public "turns her on". When asked if she thought what she was doing was wrong, with abosolutely no conviction young Montana Fishburne said absolutely NOT! The XXX world is what she has always wanted to do and with or without daddy's approval she is going for it.

One can only wonder what would make what looks like a good well rounded kid choose such a dirty lifestyle. It wasn't a trouble childhood nor broken home as Montana admitted to having a very close relationship with both her mother and her father. The days of young girls looking up to idols such as Michelle Obama or Oprah Winfrey are gone, these days girls are looking up to Kim Kardashian as their role models. It is rumored that Montana thinks of Kim as her idol and after seeing her sex tape she immediately called the same producers and said she wanted to do a similiar tape.

The not so proud Laurence Fishburne has expectedly taken an angry oode of silence about all this. While Montana insisted that her interest for the XXX world is not intended to hurt her father she showed no sign of backing down.

I could only shake my head as I watched such a beautiful young girl head in the wrong direction. Watching the interview I thought of one thing which is, they say karma is a b#@ch and this is a perfect example of what I think is Lawrence Fishburne's karma coming back to him. Fella's karma is real and it might not come back on you directly but it does comes back. How a man can hold up his head when his 19 year old daughter tells the world she wants to be a porn star I don't know, but I think we all should say a prayer for young Montana and hope her goals in life take a more postive turn.


Today’s grip session consists of my random why’s and my “I Hates.”

What does Fantasia, Alicia Keys, and Gabrielle Union have in common? They are all home wreckers

Don’t you hate cowards? It’s just impossible to respect them.

Don’t you hate when people you use to date still call you well after you both realized there was NO connection?

Why are people really buying into Rick Ross’s new name Ricky Rose?

Don’t you just hate when you buy toilet paper and it’s way TOO hard but you brought like 12 rolls so now you have to suffer?

Don’t you hate when you go out to dinner with a guy and the waitress tends to all his needs without even looking your way to at least see if you want some water?

Why has Tiki Barber allowed himself to be another black cheating man statistic?
Don’t you hate when you bump into a EX and you are not at your best maybe even your worst?

Why do our celebrity black men have this new obsession with wife-in up strippers?

Don’t you hate when people use Facebook and Twitter to tell their ghetto business?

Men, why would you go to a females house and leave her toilet seat up? Thanks for the courtesy but we use it down thanks!

Don’t you hate when you sneeze and it feels like a fart wants to slip out? Don’t lie you know it happens.

Don’t you hate being the bigger person sometimes, when it’s so much easier to be the smaller person?

Why do radio stations play the same song at the exact same time?

Why do men at the gym think you want to be pick up if you have your head phones on and never look their way?

Why do people step on the brakes when they see a cop and their speeding? Don’t they know a radar detector picks up the break signal?

Why do woman over 30 still try to be “thick” don’t you realize your metabolism will slow down and the thicker you are at 30 means the fatter you will be 40?

Don’t you hate that the world’s idea of family now seems to be baby first then marriage?

Don’t you hate when you go to a friend’s function and the food is gross but out of respect you feel obligated to eat some and hide the rest?

Don’t we hate that although TI is only 5’4 he’s officially off the market now?

Don’t you hate when your friends continuously send blackberry blast messages or emails about events they KNOW you’re not coming to?

Don’t you hate that although you might not agree with all my hates and random why’s don’t you just hate that you read them all?? LOL

Feel free to join in an let me know what you hate or your random why's.

Monday, August 2, 2010

How Beautiful Are You Really?

If someone asked you to name a beautiful person who would your first choice be? Would you immediately think of Kim Kardashian, Jessica Biel or Beyonce? Or would you think of someone like Oprah, or the mother at your church who's kind to everyone and always giving of herself?

Today's society is obsessed with outward beauty. How superficial the world has become as we consume our thoughts with who has the biggest butt, the nicest legs. and the best swimsuit body. Yet, how often do we hear about who has the biggest heart? The people who go around doing good with good intentions and a sincere heart. These are the people who are not worrying about if their weaves are perfect or if their Louboutins are in season. These are the people who are good at heart and their goodness radiates true beauty.

So if I now asked how beautiful are you really what would your answer be? Are you the woman who is fabulous on the outside from head to toe but if you saw a pregnant lady struggling with a stroller, the thought to help her would not cross your mind? Or would you immediately run and help her because its the kind thing to do?
Are you the wife who has been married for 10years and has stopped putting in the effort to look good for your husband? Or are you the woman who still puts on a little lip gloss and perfume for your hubby because your agreed for better or for worse and he still deserves your best? Or finally, are you the woman who's not so attractive on the outside but whose heart is so giving and so kind that people see you inside out instead of outside in?

Beauty fades with age and at the end of the day your eyelashes, weaves and size 23 waist will not be what it use to be; so, do you continue to invest only on your outward appearance or do you plant good seeds to make your inward appearance as good as your outward appearance.

There are many people who are absolutely gorgeous on the outside and downright rotten on the inside. If I had to assess my own true beauty I would say: I am the woman who is fabulous on the outside and would help a struggling pregnant woman if I saw one. I would also have to admit that I am also the person who might fuss out my neighbor for blasting their music a 6:30 a.m, instead of using it as a reason to get up early and start my day. But I am a work in progress aren't we all.

Whether you are beautiful on the outside or beautiful on the insides know that beauty shines from within.. Make today the day you decide to truly be beautiful..I know I will!...

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Lyfe Jennings- Statistics

From a mans' own mouth, inspired by Steve Harvey's "Act Like A Lady. Think Like A Man" ladies find out how to find the remaining 10% of good men left according to Lyfe Jennings.

"25% of all men are unstable
25% of all men can't be faithful
30% of them don't mean what they say
and 10% of the remainin' 20 is gay

That leaves you a 10% chance of ever findin' your man
That means you better pay attention to these words that I say
I'm gonna teach you how expose the 90%
and show you what to do to keep the other 10.

Don't be a booty call,

If he don't respect you girl he gon' forget you girl,


If he's in a relationship

And he will cheat on her that means he will cheat on you.


Tell him that you're celibate

And if he wants some of your goodies he gon' have to work for it.


Be the person you wanna find

Don't be a nickel out here lookin' for a dime.


15% of all men got a complex
15% of all men dont practice safe sex
20% of them are from homes without a father
so there's a 50/50 chance that you'll marry a coward

Something to think about when you're takin' a shower

Something to swallow when you drank your bottled water

I'm gonna teach you how to expose the 90%

and show you what to do to keep the other 10



Don't be a booty call,

If he don't respect you girl he gon' forget you girl,


If he's in a relationship

And he will cheat on her that means he will cheat on you.


Tell him that you're celibate

And if he wants some of your goodies he gon' have to work for it.


Be the person you wanna find

Don't be a nickel out here lookin' for a dime.

Be patient! He's waiting!

You don't gotta settle for that

Leave all that stress alone!

Get you a backbone!

Stop being sorry for yourself!

Chances make champions

It's gonna take (patience)

Time is still (wastin')

Don't be a booty call

If he don't respect ya girl he gon forget ya girl


If he's in a relationship

If he will cheat on her that means he will cheat on you


Tell him that you're celibate

and if he wants some of your goodies he gon' have to work for it.


Be the person you wanna find

Don't be a nickel out here lookin' for a dime.


OCHOCINCO'S- The Ultimate Catch

I hate to admit that I have fallen for yet again another celebrity reality show but I have. The Ultimate Catch, is a new reality show which follows Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson, as he attempts to find the one. Think of the Bachelor meets Flavors of Love minus the ghettoness and you get the Ultimate Catch.

Week after week woman from all nationalities go to bat to win Chad's attention. The group of woman consists of the stereotypical ghetto black girl, the slutty white girl and the overly pretty Latina girl, amongst what appears to be a surprisingly good group of decent girls.

Maybe its my love for anything relating to football that draws my attention to the show or maybe its just refreshing to see a mans' point of view as he picks and chooses the woman he thinks can win his heart. Known for his outgoing personality and his ongoing role down to the final four on Dancing with the Stars, Chad Johnson is quite the entertainer. Rumored to have been involved with his DWTS partner Cheryl Burke, it will be interesting to see if this father of four is really looking to settle down. From 85 girls down to 16 the show has been surprisingly clean void of any of the tacky makeout sessions shown of Flavors of Love. Nonetheless, with 11 girls left it will be interesting to watch how things pan out. Keep an eye on the slutty Tara, and Chad's #1 Rubi, as something tells me those two will make it to the finals.

You can catch Ochocino's Ultimate Catch on Sundays, on VH1's.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

How I Did It

Lately I have been approached by quite a few people inquiring about the weight I have lost. While I have never been more than 145lbs I have said my goodbyes to my heavier curvaceous self and said hello to my healthier leaner self. With still a ways to go before I reach my ideal size,I am overjoyed with the weight I have lost and thoroughly encouraged to continue to strive to obtain all of my physical goals. In the interim,I thought it would be helpful to share some of my unconventional secrets that has helped me drop from a size 10 to a size 4. Please keep in mind the tips listed below may not be the most conventional means for everyone but this is what help me.

1. Surround yourself with people who are physically fit and in excellent shape. Looking at their healthy physique will make you feel guilty every time you indulge in unhealthy sweets you should not be eating. If you see that a six-pack and killer legs is obtainable for someone else, it sends a distinctive message to your brain that you too can achieve the same results if you work hard enough. This tip worked wonders for me because seeing is believing.

2. Start a new exercise that will take you out of your comfort zone. Running is a exercise that until recently was quite foreign to me. I began to run every time I went to the gym and before I knew it I was training for my first 5k. By stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something different,my body was immediately challenged to work harder and I saw the results alot faster. Running is one of the fastest healthiest ways to burn calories. Start small, stay consistent and your body will begin to love the workout.

3. Join an expensive gym. Aside from experiencing state of the art equipment and luxury amenities such as spa's, steam rooms, jacuzzis, and indoor/outdoor pools, this unconventional method works perfectly for me because I absolutely refuse to waste $70.00 a month. Most memberships are automatically withdrawn from your account which means your gym will be getting your membership fees whether you go or not. Throwing $70.00 down the drain in this recession is insanity especially when that money can be saved or used to buy a new pair of shoes. In addition calculating how much each visit will cost me ($5.83 for at least 12 visits) helps me justify the $70.00 expense and it ensures that I will attend the gym no less than 12x a month.

4. Complete part of your workouts in front of a mirror if possible. Watching yourself workout can serve as a means of motivation if you don't like what you see, and a means of encouragement for the improvements that will begin to take place in your body and form. This is not a tactic to be vain or conceited but merely a way to identify what you look like in comparison to what you want to look like.

5. Express your workout goals to family and friends. This will keep you motivated because the haters will love to ask you if you stopped yet, and your supporters will love to hear that you are on your way to achieve exactly what you said you will do.

6. Don't buy junk food when grocery shopping. This may sound like a given to some but to others it will prove to be quiet helpful. When grocery shopping never include cookies, juice, chips, ice cream or any form of sweets. It will be more of an inconvenience to give into your sweet cravings if you have to go out and get the snacks versus walking straight into the kitchen. Your laziness to go get a snack will inadvertently curb your sugar cravings and hopefully encourage you to snack on healthier treats such as granola bars, fruits, vegetables, string cheese, etc.

7. Eat as many meals from home as possible. This method helped me eat healthier and helped me save money on overpriced meals and unnecessary vending machine trips. Everyday I make/pack breakfast, 3 healthy snacks and lunch. Breakfast puts my day off to a great start. The snacks keep me filled so I am less likely to give into sweet cravings, and lunch is usually the biggest meal I have for the day. Bringing food from home keeps you eating healthy, regular and its cost effective.

8. Do thorough research. Research new exercises, healthy meals and snacks, clubs and groups (running clubs, swim clubs, yoga groups, spin class) workout wear and accessories, sporting events and health benefits. Staying engaged will keep you motivated and the more you turn working out into an enjoyable hobby the less it will feel like a dreaded obligation.

9. Identify your friends that have achieved some of the results you are looking to achieve and don't be afraid to ask them for suggestions and recommendations. Contrary to what you may believe, most people like to be helpful and if your friends are as kind as some of mine have been they won't mind offering suggestions, tips, encouragement and they might even workout with you. Utilize your resources.

10. Try not to obsess over instant results. This is one I still struggle with but I'm working hard to overcome. Becoming healthy is a lifestyle and not something that will happen overnight. You might not shed the 10lbs your looking to loose immediately but practing healthy habits is a guarantee that you are becoming more health conscious and it s only a matte of time before you see the results of your labor.

These are just a few of the tricks that have helped me along the way. They are not sure proof ways that will work for everyone but the consistent element in each strategy is to stay motivated. Know how to outsmart the unhealthy you and tap into the new healthier you.

If you have any questions about my tips or would like to provide me with a few tips that have worked for you as well please feel free to leave a comment or email me at

Monday, July 19, 2010

The Problem With What If"s

What if you got the promotion you wanted and was demoted 3 months later because you never perfected the skills needed for your new position?

What if you got the 4 bedroom Cul-de-sac you dream of but it was foreclosed in less than a year because you brought the house before you fully learned how to budget your money?

What if you lost the weight you wanted but then gained twice as much back because you didn't learn the proper way to keep the weight off?

What if you got the 2010 5 Series you wanted and started show boating all around town, only for it to be stolen because you never learned how to be humble?

What if you got the baby you been praying for only to find out later you actually rather be selfish and free just for a little while longer?

What if you finally married the man/woman you been longing for only to find out your future will now be filled with heartache and grief because they weren't the one?

What if God gave you all your hearts desires only to snatch it all away because you never learned to be grateful and appreciate what you initiall had?

What if God finally revealed your calling and purpose but then had to use someone else because you never learned how to have a continuously willing spirit?

God moves at his own time. Be patient and wait on him because he just might be waiting on you!*

Psalm 25:4-5 "Show me Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me: for You are the God of my salvation; on You do I wait all day."

Thursday, July 15, 2010


In the playing field between men and woman do woman have more of an dating advantage than they realize?

Statistics for the DMV area states the ratio of woman to men is 3:1. Men have used this statistic in their favor as they marvel upon their dating options while woman have used the same statistic as the culprit for why dating is so hard these days.

As a woman I have often agreed that by time you subtract the men with all the detracting features such as: unemployed, bad credit, baby momma drama, or commitment issues the pool that remains is not always that impressive. Yet, as I get older and wiser I have come to realize that there is a whole group of eligible men that go unnoticed. These are what we call the "good guys". The guys that treat you like your a princess and make your heart melt but doesn't come with the same drama as the man who makes your knees buckle.

These are not the unattractive guys that get on your nerves. These are the guys with the good jobs, no kids, no drama, that are comfortable in their own skin, but have somehow gone unnoticed because they might not dress the best or they might not be in the same social scene as you.

These "Good Guys" are the guys that let you know during the date that they would like to see you again. The guys that have taken the time to truly like who you are as a person and how you look is just an extra bonus to them. These are the guys that will make you smile in a way your "knee buckler" will never be able to.

So why do these guys go unnoticed you may ask? Well its simple, you've been blindsided!! weren't looking for them. Instead of checking for the good guy you was checking for the dude in the club that brought you the most drinks or the dude that drives the nicest car and wears the most expensive clothes. The "fancy" dude who will mostly likely screen your calls and texts and will never commit.

Meanwhile, Mr. Good Guy goes about his business unnoticed enjoying his life. This is not the guy who is going to chase you. He is not going to entertain your childish dating games, and if your not interested he will keep it moving with no problem. You see, Mr. Good Guy knows his self worth and if you don't see it, he knows its your lost because in the end you will be the one continuously crying and heartbroken over Mr. Fancy, while he is loving and adoring the woman who knew what was important when selecting a mate.

Everyone is a work in progress do you choose to work on Mr. Fancy who looks good but will never change? or do you choose to work on Mr. Good Guy, who probably only needs a slight makeover and a good woman on his side?

The choice is yours?

Monday, July 12, 2010

I Don't Want it If Its FAST

"Two-thirds of American adults are either obese or overweight." With obesity rates at it highest its disturbing to hear that many Americans still eat fast food. Fast food franchises such as McDonald's, Wendy's Popeye's, Burger King and Taco Bell are still in business even with the overwhelming negative effects their food has on the body. It appears the surprisingly disturbing facts from Morgan Spurlock's Super Size Me have long been forgotten despite the severity of its message. According to Morgan Spurlock's 2004 American documentary:

-"Each day, 1 in 4 Americans visits a fast food restaurant."
-"A person would have to walk 7 hours continuously to burn off a Big Mac, Fries and a Super sized coke."
-"Nutritionists recommend not eating fast food more than once a month."
-"40 percent of American meals are eaten outside the home.
-"McDonald's states that "Any processing our foods undergo make them more dangerous than unprocessed foods"
-"Before most children can speak they can recognize McDonald's."
-"Left unabated, obesity will surpass smoking as the leading cause of preventable death in America."

While these details might single out McDonald's as the sole culprit, competitive fast food chains have the same negative effects on the body. Rule of thumb: If its fast it can't be good for the body. French fries, burgers, tacos and fried chicken are all foods that reek havoc on the body especially when processed. One mild Popeye's chicken breast alone contains: 350 calories, 179 milligrams of cholesterol, 1130 milligrams of sodium and 20 grams of fat. Sides and a drink to complete the meal has not even been calculated yet.

To think that meals with such unhealthy nutritional value is consumed by adults every day is is frighting; but, to think this is what we feed our children as well that is just catastrophic. In a time where everything is on the go, old fashion peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with an apple and Mott's apple juice has now been replaced with Kids Meals.

While healthy eating often comes with a hefty price tag, one must ask when it comes to your health is this really the time to be frugal? Traders Joe's, local farmers market and smart budgeting all options that can help make the transition to healthy eating much more affordable. Though it may be more time consuming to prepare meals and snacks from home in the long run its well worth the effort. Take a step back from the fast food and enjoy the life long benefits of eating healthy, your body will thank you in the end.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Is It Love?

What is love? Some will say it is the feeling of butterflies which flutter in your stomach until your knees buckle. Others will describe it at the felling of not wanting to live without someone cause you can't remember life before that person. And the mature at heart will say its when you genuinely care about someone to the point where you want what is truly best for them at all times.

They say you don't fall in love you consciously walk right love; Yet, is this emotion we call love real or is it an emotional excuse for a irresponsible unexplainable behavior? When a man falls in love with another woman while he is married can that really be love? When a woman traps a man with pregnancy because she wants to keep him in her life is that really love? And when a woman allows herself to be beaten or cheated on in hopes that "he will change" is that naive behavior generated from the emotion we call love?

The word love has been used so casually that the true meaning has been lost in translation. People will say they love you but their actions will reflect what is more of a deep like. This deep like that one feels when they believe they are "in love" is usually exaggerated. This feeling is often manipulated by the vulnerable emotional side of the brain which was once influenced by fantasies from daytime soaps, love stories, fairy tales,romantic novel and the naive idea of what we think love should be instead of what it is.

The Bible says "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

If you match this Biblical passage with the way in which we love someone is it really love? The Bible has set a blueprint for how we should love our mates, our families, friends and mankind. However, in our day to day encounters do our behaviors really mimic God's description of love? If we attempted to love in the way that God described would we find that we really love the people we think we do, or have our emotions manipulated what is really just a deep like?

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Day I Realized I LOVED My Life- My Testimony

The day I realized I loved my life wasn't the day I hit the lotto. It wasn't the day I met the love of my life and got married and it wasn't the day I gave birth to my first child. The day I realized I loved my life was when in the blink of an eye I realized it could all be gone. It was the day my heart and mind was grieved with fear. I didn't cry that day, I wept, like I never wept before. As my mind filled with skepticism, I wondered if I would ever get to live and accomplish my dreams. I thought about all the small things that once stole my joy. I told God that "this can't happen to me, I still have to use my gift, get married and have the twins." Yet my mind raced back to all the self doubting thoughts that use to consume me because I feared those things would never happen. Without a moments hesitation I told God, "you still have a work for me, this isn't in our plan." Yet, before that moment, there were so many times I was filled with sadness, doubting if there was such a purpose. How did I know these things now that my life was threatened yet doubted them when life was just fine?

48 hours prior to that dreadful day I had shunned God and told him no longer will I believe. But the first name I called upon during this dreadful experience was God. All my life I questioned if God heard me? If he heard my prayers? Yet on this day I prayed and I knew that God heard me. I had no doubt that he heard my prayers through that experience so why did I doubt him all this time? Why did I question his presence all along yet in the time of need know that he would be there for me?.

I thought back to the times I allowed myself to get upset over silliness. I thought back to all the challenges and disappointments that stole my joy. I shook my head ashamed of my previous behaviors and my vulnerable state humbled me and showed me just how much a work in progress I am. It was on that day that I didn't gripe about the people missing from my life; Instead, I clung to the stranger who was compassionate enough to console me through that dreadful moment. Who she was and who should have been there with me were thoughts that was absent from my mind. Instead I was overwhelmed with gratitude that someone...anyone could help in the smallest way.

It was worst moment of my life, a day I will never forget. So many things still left to do, so many people I still have to get through to. Men and shoes, working out and shopping, the activities that were once so important to me became so irrelevant at that point. It was only 2 things I thought about during those dark moments....MY family and MY purpose. In the darkest moments just like that, I realized what was most important to me. How do you worry about leaving a child that you haven't had yet? How do you mourn over leaving your husband that you haven't even met yet? But more is your heart overwhelmed with sorrow for not fulfilling a purpose your haven't even clearly identified yet?

It was after that moment that I found faith that I never had before. I found humbleness that I wish I had a long time time ago, and I found myself realizing that I love my life just as it is. On the way home I did something I don't typically do unless I'm traveling for a distance,...I put on my seat belt. I drove the speed limit and I didn't think to yell at the slow drivers in my way, I waited patiently saying to myself...."what's the rush?". I thought about all the people who wronged me and no longer could I remember the hurt they once caused me. I just remembered this amazing gift that I had....MY LIFE.

Today I reflect where I was just 2 days ago and I barely recognize myself. I am happy not because anything special happened to me today, I am happy because I have a good life. God has spared my life on many occasions and that day was no different. I am humbled, I am grateful, and I am at peace. I don't wait on confirmation to believe, because it was at my weakest moment, I realized I believed all along.

Appreciate life, find your purpose and pursue God, the rest will fall into place.

The details surrounding this experience is irrelevant.......the lesson priceless!

Monday, June 21, 2010

What Does Your Style Say About You?

Everyday the busy streets of New York are compiled with fashionista's and trendsetters all clicking their heels to the beat of their own drum. Known as the fashion capital of the US to some and to others the place where trends are born, New York City is the place where fashion is an expression of art and emotion.

Void of self doubt and insecurities New York City is filled with bold self expression and catwalks that beg any and everyone to watch. Whether its a gothic look, a urban look, a Jackie O look or a metro-sexual look, the streets of New York will never disappoint you. While looking at a girl with booty shorts worn over candy striped tights paired with cowboy boots, my mother phrased it best when she said "everyone in New York has something to say."

New Yorkers use fashion as expression. Sarah Jessica Parker, has become a fashion icon because of the uniquely trendsetting outfits she wore on Sex And The City. Sixteen years later, the fashion world is still wearing the oversized sunglasses Jackie Kennedy first introduced. Anna Wintour,editor of Vogue magazine has revamped the corporate America look with her "fearsomely smart" and sexy outfits that were viewed in The Devil Wears Prada; And can been seen on any New York City street Monday through Friday.

The limits of fashion in New York are boundless. Free from judgement and ridicule New Yorkers have fashionably declared emancipation. Privileged to posses the same sense of independence as a New York native, I myself embrace the freedom of fashion expression. I will pair hot red lips with the most innocent outfit one can imagine. I will pin a beautiful flower on a simple blouse and on a rainy day make my own sun shine. I will buy a pair of shoes the average person would not be bold enough to even think to wear and match it with a simple outfit giving it a precise yet effortless look.

An expression of freedom and emotion everyone has their own sense of style and look they hope to convey. It can be a subtle form of expression or a bold form of expression, but as my mom always says "everyone has something to say."

What does your sense of fashion say about you?

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Could I Give It All Up?

While laying on the the massage table receiving my quarterly hot stone therapy treatment, I began to let my mind enter the world of free thought and total bliss. As my mind drifted I began to wonder...If I had to could I give this all up? The quarterly massages, the expensive shoes, the shopping sprees at Nordstroms, the spontaneous trips to Chicago, LA and Vegas, my bi-weekly moments of over indulgence at Whole Foods and my overly expensive membership at my luxury gym. Could I give it all up if it meant I could do what I feel in my heart? Could I trade my gym membership for a free run in the park? could I trade my spontaneous trips for a trip to Ocean City instead? Could I trade Nordy's for H&M and Ross? and most of all could I give up my love of expensive shoes and electrical gadgets for peace of mind?

With my eyes closed in deep thought I heard the hesitation as I tried to answer that question. My heart said hell yeah! these are material things that I can live without because it would only be for a short time...but my heart also said it's these same little luxuries that make my world go round.

After 50 minutes of peace and tranquility I let my mind wonder again, except this time my thoughts were more definitive. This time I saw the bigger picture and I saw my current luxuries are by no means a worthwhile trade for my soul. This life of convenience and constant treats is a great life; But,life is not about how many shoes you have or places you have traveled to. Life is about the mark that you make in the world and the people you will touch along the way.

They say if you love what you do, you will never work another day in your life. The road to that path is rocky, and at times I may question if I did the right thing. I will wonder if I should have made the best of what I had. But in the dark hidden moments between me, myself and I, I know with purpose and a clear mind that "work" is not in my future. The days of luxuries and convenience will return 10 fold, except this time it will not be at the expense of my dreams. Success is not how much money you make but it is knowing you are fulfilling your true purpose. So with each day I prepare for my journey and am inspired and encouraged by those who have already made the trade.

To some, this may seem senseless...but for me its MY pursuit for happiness.

What mark will you make?

Monday, June 7, 2010

The Game Is BACK!!

After 3 Seasons and record high ratings during syndication, BET has officially picked up The Game and it will return to TV this fall for Season 4. Originally a spin off from Girlfriends, The Game depicts the love and drama of medical student Tia Mowry and Sabers football player Pooch Hall along with their friends. The show initially aired on Mondays and then was switched to Friday nights which resulted in the low ratings that eventually got the show cancelled.

As of now, all of the original cast will be returning. Fans of the show was ecstatic to hear that the show would be returning and BET'S Loretha Jones stated, "I'm extremely happy to announce the absolute worst-kept secret in the world."

If you have never watched The Game please check it out this fall on BET. The Game, is one of the few shows left that reflects a positive image of young African Americans and black love at its truest and REALest form. No ghetto story line, no obscene nudity and profanity, a good clean entertaining storyline about life's good and bad times.

For viewers who have followed The Game, will Melanie and Derwin's marriage survive Derwin's irresponsible decisions? Will Jason and Kelly find their way back to each other, after Stacy Dash? Will Tasha hook the overly charismatic Rick Fox or will she continue to run him away? And, will Malik Wright be as fine as he has been in Season's 1-3?

Stay tuned for more details to come.....

Monday, May 24, 2010

People Can Take You There

People can be stressful, mean, hurtful and down right stupid at times. It starts off in kindergarten. Boy meets girl, boy hits girl, boy teases girl and girl cries. The habit continues to elementary school with the class bully snd the class clown who ridicules his classmates just for the sake of being funny. By high school, the mean trait is perfected and the inception of 'clics' and 'mean girls' begins.

The boys who use to hit girls, the class bullies, the high school mean girls they all grow up to be mean people. This is the history of how hurtful mean people evolve. Soulless creatures who hurt people for no other reason then their mere entertainment and self gratification. The Bible speaks of these people in Proverbs 4:16, "For they do not sleep unless they have done evil; And their sleep is taken away unless they make someone fall".

It's the mean spirited people that can really take you there. They will steal your joy if you let them, they will take away your smile if you give it to them, and they will remove all evidence of peace in your life if you allow them to. These are the people who can provoke a reaction from you like on one else can, the people that can really take you to a place where you don't need to go.

If you encounter said person the first thing you do is remember the bigger picture; Bite your tongue you keep your calm, then pray for the strength not to send them on on a first class ticket to hell. Dealing with hurtful people is not an easy task, but it is a part of life we must all deal with.

People can take you anywhere you let them, where will you let someone take you today??

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Is Your List Holding You Back

If you ever turned to VH1 and had a chance to watch "What Chilli Wants" you are familiar with her infamous "list". This list serves as Chilli's check off points for all the traits she is looking for in a mate. Some of the components of Chilli's list entail: no smoking, no drinking, physically fit with a six pack, cannot eat pork, must be well endowed, and must be funny. The list includes a few other do's and dont's however, the gist of the list is clear....Chilli's list will keep her single.

It is a well known fact that the more particular a person is when looking for a mate the more they will limit their options. While one should definitely have standards and know what it is they want, when your lists bans pork eaters, smokers and people who are not particularly health conscious one begins to loose focus of the critical traits like: honesty, loyalty and faithfulness to name a few.

The Laws of Attraction states that people will attract exactly what they want. For instance, if you don't smoke and have never been interested in a smoker you typically would not have to put "non smoker" on your list because the odds of a non smoker being interested and approaching you is slim. While this may seems like a very simple concept it is indeed true. Think back to all the people you have dated and liked, how many people fell completely outside of what you was looking for? If you want your mate to work out and be physically fit well, if your significant other sees you working out odds are your workout habits will be a behavior your mate will adapt to.

The people one attracts is a reflection of the type of person they are ultimately looking for. You may not get every single quality you want but you pick and choose what you can live with and what you can live without. If you know who you are and what you want then your check list is a listing of the deal breakers, like religion or not wanting to have children.

Chilli's idea to has a checklist was a great start in identifying exactly what she is looking for; but, if your checklist is similar and includes superficial things like "he has to be 6'2, make at least 80k and drive a Beemer, Benz or Bentley" well don't worry about dating because your list will keep you single. In contrast, if your list reflects the important qualities needed to identify your next date from your next boyfriend and your next boyfriend from your husband then you have a list that reflects your true priorities so let your heart and the Laws of Attraction take care the rest.

Is your list holding YOU back from what you really want?