My Theory

"Forget what you heard, recognize what you see. I know you heard the here's the real me." XoXo

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Waiting for God's Debut

I went to bible study a few weeks ago and the sermon was about getting God's attention. The pastor went through several examples in the bible where people like Elijah, Solomon and Jacob to name a few, did extraordinary things to get God's attention. We all know that God is an all knowing God and that even when it seems like he is not there he is always with us; however, sometimes God allows us to go through a period of silence. It is during this period that it can seem like God does not hear us or remember us because he is simply being quiet. According to the bible during times like these Elijah, Solomon and Jacob knew how to get God's attention. These men made monumental sacrifices to God to get him to respond and he did. The bible says that Solomon sacrificed so many sheep and oxen unto the Lord that it could not be counted. Solomon made this grand sacrifice because he needed to get God's attention.

In our day and time, while we simply cannot offer up multitudes of dead sheep before God yet, we still need to get God's attention in the same way Elijah, Solomon and Jacob was able to. This particular bible study session laid pretty heavy on my heart because I am going through one of the toughest seasons I have ever gone through. I know god is near but I need him HERE. I thought of sacrifices to get God's attention but I struggle trying to find the right thing that will show just how desperately I need God to show up. Do I doubt that he hears me? Nope! Do I doubt that he loves and cares for me? Never. I know that he does. I know there is a reason for everything and in the midst of madness there is purpose.

I once heard a saying that when God feels the furthest from you is when you need to draw the closest to him and I believe that saying is true. I have no intentions of giving up or letting my trials get the best of me, in fact I am more determined than ever to get God's attention, and by praying and focusing on him I will. I know he will never leave me nor forsake me, I just need him to show up and make his debut.

Do YOU know how to get God's attention?

Sunday, June 5, 2011

The Ugly Truth About Love

Old black and white movies from the early 90's portray love as this amazing thing that makes life worth living for once you find it. Modern day love stories are are no different. The story line is always the same. Boy meets girl, boy hurts girl, girl by odd chance meets new boy, boy falls head over heels for girl but messes up, yet through determination and a grand gesture like running through the airport to stop her, or speeding through traffic to catch her moving truck before she moves across the country, boy stops girl, declares his love and they live happily ever after.

Aside from myself I wonder how many woman in the world have fell victim to thinking that this is the way love goes. That men instinctively know to serende us outside our windows and to send flowers to our jobs just because. Television has made us think that love is a romantic walk hand in hand off in the sunset to live happily ever after. Personally, I feel betrayed by the way television and romantic comedies depict love.

A man has never chased me through the airport, a man has never ridden on a horse to profess his love for me and a man has never thrown pebbles at my window to get me to come outside. A man has never got up in front of a group of strangers and told me I am the blues in his left thight trying to make it over to his right and a man has never gone on hot 97 and proclaimed his love to me as his new song was about to debut. But does this mean I have never been loved? Based on my life experience those in Hollywood would say that I have never been in love if these grand gestures have never happened to me. Yet I wonder, as you read this can you honestly say these things have happened to you? For my married readers, can you honestly say that after you said "I do" life instantly became happily ever after? To my single readers, can you honestly say when you meet a man that the dating routine is what is depicted on television? The answer to both of those questions is no yet this is the crap that Hollywood feeds us.

Until recently, I believed that the happily every after I saw in the movies was real. I thought that with the right guy that men just knew and that life becomes just what we see on tv....a romantic comedy. But as I continue my dating journey I realize that love isn't perfect. That men instinctively still don't know what to do at times. That love requires work and effort and a great understanding on ones innerself.

It stings that I am learning this lesson so late in life, but now that I know I have begun to work on my innerself and set realistic expectations. Love is not what you see in the movies. Love is simply....what you make it!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

My Lil Doggie

So my quest for the perfect dog continues. I have always always wanted a dog but before I moved to NC my MD complex did not allow pets. Well those days are over and for the past 2 months I have been on the search for the perfect dog. Bentley will be the newest addition to my life and I cannot wait to find him. I never knew that purchasing a dog could be such an emotional and frustrating experience.

A few months ago I went to the pet store just to get a feel for the type of dog I would like and I fell in love with the cutest Poo-Chin I have ever seen. I was allowed to take the dog into a play room to get acquainted with him and instantly we connected. Not only was he adorable but he was laid back real chill and easy to love. I knew this was my dog but for the price they was asking for him I had to be sure I was really ready to do this. I said good bye to the dog and as I walked out the shop I immediately missed my furry little friend.

The next morning I decided that was my doggie and I skipped lunch to go put a deposit down, or so I thought. I went in the shop and the guy who helped me the day before immediately avoided eye contact with me. I went to the spot Bentley was before and when I saw he wasn't there I assumed maybe he was in the back being fed. The guy finally came over to me and I said "Is my Bentley in the back?" he smiled briefly and then the smile disappeared and he said "no". Unconsciously I remained completely aloof to the news I was about to hear as I asked the guy if Bentley was in the play room. When he said no I playfully brushed him off and said "yes he is" and I headed to the play room to see for myself. Needless to say, Bentley wasn't there. The guy told me someone had brought him a few hours ago. As if I was still a toddler the biggest tear immediately rolled down my left cheek.

Since then just like with dating I now hold my feelings back when I go doggie shopping. I will know at the right time I find the right dog and I can't wait.

The pictures above is the dog I fell in love with and the dog below is one I was considering but decided against.

Stay tuned as my search continues....