Sunday, November 14, 2010
A few weeks ago I was contacted by an old acquaintance from high school who use to have a crush on me. As we exchanged pleasantries over email he asked me if I was married and how many kids did I have. When I responded and told him I wasn't married yet so therefore I do not have any kids yet he said he was shocked. Fast forward to a few weeks later, in the midst of another conversation he approached the subject again and asked me what was I waiting for to have kids since we are not getting any younger? A question like that would have really pissed me off months ago; but, instead of getting angry with him for sounding like someone who can't wait to be a grandfather, I flipped it on him. I simply asked him what was his fascination with me having kids?. Imagine my surprise when he confessed that all his boys had kids and he was starting to feel a little bit left out. He mentioned that he was 33 and did not want to be an old dad and that he felt like it was time.
His confession was quite shocking to hear because society has always painted woman as the victims of the "my clock is ticking" mentality. Woman are typically the ones doomed with the thought they must have kids by a certain age or else. I'm not sure if it was refreshing to hear that men are plagued by some of the same fears woman are or if it was a turn off, but it was definitely interesting to hear.
Men are always portrayed as strong, confident go getter's who don't have to worry about things like kids and marriage because it just happens for them. The media never portrays men as individuals ready and waiting for children, wondering if it's going to be too late. I must admit its nice to know deep down beneath the facade of coolness and nonchalance, that sometimes men share the same concerns and worries as woman. I assured my friend that he will make a great dad when the time is right and to not worry about how young he is. During the course of my journey I realized that when it is right, it just happens....no worry necessary.
Posted by BK Vixen Gone MD at 9:25 PM