Thursday, October 21, 2010
The other day I received a Facebook message from one of my ex's. It read "Hey, haven't heard from you in a while how are you?" A while to be exact is 3 years and to answer the question I am doing GREAT. Its funny when you THINK your in love, you have a false reality of your emotions a false reality of what is, but once you come to your senses, once you had a chance to detox and get back to who you are you thank God for the lessons learned and you move on better equipped than you ever were before.
As we get older it becomes more and more evident that people are temporary. Many will come even more will go but there are seasons in life and everyone is not meant to be in your life forever. The Ex that sent me a Facebook message has served his purpose. There is no need for me to respond with small talk and pleasantries. I harbor not one ounce of bad will for him BUT once I realize someones purpose and I am clear on what role that person was designed to play in my life, I can and will keep it moving and never look back.
Ironically, a few days later I saw a photo of a more recent ex on facebook, he is now married with 2 kids and a baby on the way. While it was weird seeing someone I once loved and cared for all grown up and married, I can honestly say I felt nothing but sheer happiness for him. It wasn't the happiness that you send a email or facebook message and say congratulations, it was moreso the happiness where you smile and send them light and you wish them well from afar. I know he wasn't the person for me and I understand the purpose he SERVED in my life so words are no longer needed.
The process from uncertainty to clarity can be tumultuous but when you finally find clarity you can put things prespective. The love of your life in the 10th grade wasn't really the love of your life but just a guy you loved. The guy you once thought was your soulmate and who you wanted to marry wasn't really your soulmate, but rather a really good mate for your soul at the time. And the guy you once thought was the one...well he wasn't really THE one, but moreso the one who taught you the most and hurt you the worst so that when your ONE finally came you was ready.
The maturity and the clarity the lesson of love can bring especially a lost lost is priceless. There is always a valuable lesson to be learned from an EX so don't hate them, recognize the value they added and release your heart to find better because there IS better, and if you follow that recipe, you can move on without looking back.
Posted by BK Vixen Gone MD at 9:54 PM