For the past few weeks my best friend and I have been talking about relationships and marriage. It is always refreshing to hear things from a male prospective and I am constantly amazed at how different men and women think. Nonetheless, the point I wanted to address today is when it comes to love and matters of the heart how do you decide who to settle down with. Do you wait on the love of your life because you brought into the belief that you want to marry the guy who makes you weak in the knees and melts your heart, or do you marry and love the man who love you and is there when you need him?
This has been a question on my mind for quite some time. It seems as though the guys you are not interested in know how to treat you and what to do and the guys you like cause so much drama and take so much work, you wonder if its worth it? I am very curious to know how many people have married the love of their lives and how many people have married someone because it was time and the guy treated them well.
Its hit or miss, I say wait on the love of your life what are your thought?
For me the love of your life is the man who was with you through trials and tribulations and stuck with you though thick & thin. This is usually the person that you are intimate with. I don't believe there is enough history between two people prior to marriage for a woman to say her husband is the love of her life. He becomes the love of her life over a period of time after facing difficult challenges with her, also by his amazing ability to comfort her when everything seem to be going haywire. He become the love of your life over time by being able to make you giggle like you did in high school or when he is able to see your point of view or not but remains loyal to you or when he remembers precious moments or when he can surprise you out of the clear blue sky. So, unless your courtship is a rocky one you do not marry the love of your life you become the love of one life with time. If the two of you can remain good friends though the struggle of marriage the two of you will be the love of each other life because of the moment you share together.
ReplyDeleteWhere to start...When I was in my early 20's, this would have been an easy answer, marry the love of your life!! As I continued to experience life and understand the nature of relationships, I realized that that is a not always the case. Have you ever wondered why other cultures arrange marriages? Have you ever spoken with anyone who was married as a result of family members choosing their mate? Well what an interesting and wonderful journey it becomes when two souls meet for the first time and you learn to love each other.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I married a man... a man that at one time I could not stand to talk to or be around...a man whose personality then "grew" on me...a man who ultimately became my best friend!...and ironically (or maybe not) a man who my mother and father would have chosen for me! Out of all the men I every brought home or spoke of, they seemed to respect him (my husband) the most. I married my best friend and today he is the love of my life!
BK Vixen, here is something for you to think about. Do you believe you can continue your relationship with your best friend without compromising your relationship with your lover? (Assuming they are different people)
ReplyDeleteanonymous and sleepy you have both given me something to think about. I always thought that you realize someone is the love of your life during the course of dating...but maybe that is not always the case. I do agree that the love of your life should know how to calm you down, when your a hot mess and support you even when he might disagree. Guess I need to think on some things.
ReplyDeleteSleepy, I am not suprise the hear that your husband grew on you. I totally get your point however I have to wonder did you grow on your husband as well or did was he head over heels for you once he met you? Something tells me he was head over heels for YOU. I say that because one person always has stronger feelings then the other. From what I have witnessed the marriages that are strongest, are the ones when the man had deeper feelings. I could be wrong but again, that is what I have seen thus far. But to answer your question sleepy, my best friend and I understand that we are on loan to each until until we meet the person we will spend the rest of our lives with. its sounds weird but we know that our significant others will become our best friend which will change our friendship, we both are ok with that. And yes.....they are 2 different people (i think) lol
Thank you guys for the comments...definetly food for thought.