My Theory

"Forget what you heard, recognize what you see. I know you heard the here's the real me." XoXo

Sunday, May 2, 2010

10 Things Every Woman Should Do Before..........

One of my mothers favorite quotes to me is "Do it now because when you get married and have a family, you might not be able to do it then." On countless occasions my mother would use that as her response to me when I asked her opinion about about a trip I was interested in or an expensive purchase I was considering. After much thought, I realized there was some truth to her logic. While having a family is one of the greatest gifts a person could have there are quite a few things every gal should do on her own before the hubby and family comes:

1-Take a trip with the girls. Whether you go to Vegas or on a cruise just do it. There is nothing like quality time with the girls, and as we grow older schedules become more and more hectic. There's a big difference in a trip with the girls as a single gal and a trip with the girls when your a mom. Both are fun, but life is short so why not get the full experience of both.

2-Make an investment. Be it a house, stocks, or a 401k. Invest your hard earned money in something. Investments force people to become financially responsible. Come to the table with something of your own. So if your list states that your man must own a home or have a 401K you should have the same requirements for yourself.

3-Wear lingerie. Don't go to sleep in a raggedy T-shirt or boxers. Invest in quality PJ's preferably lingerie and wear it to sleep. Looking good means feeling good and if you can't look good for yourself imagine how draining and unnatural it will feel to have to look good for someone else.

4-Cook REAL meals for yourself. When you cook a meal make sure it is a meal you would give someone else. Don't just pop a microwave dinner in the oven and think your doing something. Brush up on your cooking expertise and make a full meal that your momma would be proud of (meat, starch and veggies). There are several recipe's and cooking shows that have healthy easy to make meals that you can try. Think of it this way, if you can't take the time to make a REAL meal for yourself, how will you be able to do it for a whole family?

5-Make your place a home. This applies to every woman who has her own living quarters. If you rent or own, where you live should feel like home. Decorating your place and keeping a clean house gives you peace of mind. Have you ever noticed when things are going bad and you life feels like a mess looking at a dirty house will only make you feel worst. If you want to organize your life, start first by organizing your home. Men come with many great qualities but decorating is usually not one of them. Make your house a home now, so one day you can make a home for your family.

6-Make an expensive purchase- Buy a high end bag, a nice piece of jewelry, a pair of Jimmy Choo's or whatever floats your boat. Elaborate purchases can make a gal feel nice. The repercussions of elaborate purchases only affects you if you do it now, but if you wait till you have a family, those new Jimmy Choo's might mean little Johnny has to eat P&J for the rest of the month.

7-Take yourself out. Going to the movies or out to eat alone takes guts and confidence. Dining or watching a movie alone is not a sign of loneliness but moreso a sign of independence. It shows that you are a grown woman and you know how to really enjoy time with yourself. My logic to that is, if you won't take yourself on a date, don't expect anyone else to.

8-Host a party. Don't make your husbands Superbowl party the 1st party you ever host. Party hosting is a art every woman should hone in on. If cooking AND hosting overwhelms you, have the party catered or go to your local market and purchase ready made appetizers. There are so many reasons to throw a party these days, so ladies roll up your sleeves and host a game night or a "Sex In the City" marathon party.

9-Travel on Business. The woman in the amazing suit with fabulous shoes, sitting in first class can be you. Traveling on business is a sign of independence, a sign of commitment to your job and to be quite honest its the grown and sexy thing to do at this age. So whether your going to meet a client or attend a conference/training consult your boss about it and be sure not to forget your ultra chic briefcase.

10-Get a hobby. For one to be interesting they must do interesting things. Sewing, cooking, working out, or being active in your community are all productive things you can do with your time. A hobby or activity is not just something to do but is adds character and shows commitment. While your hobbies and activities should continue even when you have a family, the free time you have to commit as a single gal will be much different then the time you have when your married.

My mother was definitely on to something when she instructed me to make this list. I've been fortunate enough to cross off most of the things on the list I still have a few things left to cross off. So ladies step your game up and be the best you, you can be NOW, so you will be even better later.


  1. I wish my mom had told me about that!!! Even an aunt or somebody!! Greater still, I can honestly say that I did do at least 8 of those things before I was married. I would have done more had I been encouraged to do so, but I guess, because my mom didn't, she never encouraged me to do those 10 things.
    I agree with your list, and hope that you share with other single females this idea of individuality, an identity that belongs to them that they can Bring to the marriage, and not Develop in the marriage. It certainly does enhance the relationship.

  2. I have always wanted to host parties and entertain, but I didn't have anyone to show me how. Now that I have my own home, I find it a struggle to make sure that I am being a "gracious" host. That is the one thing I haven't done single or married. Any advice?

  3. I have a question. Do you think that once a woman has accomplished these tasks, can she still give herself to a man completely, allowing him to do these things for her...on his timetable?

  4. Sleepy, thank you for your comments. You are actually a very gracious host. You make certain your guests are confortable and you always consider your guest diet restrictions and food preferences. I think you have more hosting experience than you are realize. There is alot of literature on hosting if you want to research the issue. The New Basic Black- Home Training for Modern Times by Karen Grisgby Bates and Karen Elyse Hudson, is an useful guide of tips and tricks for party hosting. Its an excellant reference book to have as it covers the basic essentials of American traditions.


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