Sunday, May 16, 2010
If you ever turned to VH1 and had a chance to watch "What Chilli Wants" you are familiar with her infamous "list". This list serves as Chilli's check off points for all the traits she is looking for in a mate. Some of the components of Chilli's list entail: no smoking, no drinking, physically fit with a six pack, cannot eat pork, must be well endowed, and must be funny. The list includes a few other do's and dont's however, the gist of the list is clear....Chilli's list will keep her single.
It is a well known fact that the more particular a person is when looking for a mate the more they will limit their options. While one should definitely have standards and know what it is they want, when your lists bans pork eaters, smokers and people who are not particularly health conscious one begins to loose focus of the critical traits like: honesty, loyalty and faithfulness to name a few.
The Laws of Attraction states that people will attract exactly what they want. For instance, if you don't smoke and have never been interested in a smoker you typically would not have to put "non smoker" on your list because the odds of a non smoker being interested and approaching you is slim. While this may seems like a very simple concept it is indeed true. Think back to all the people you have dated and liked, how many people fell completely outside of what you was looking for? If you want your mate to work out and be physically fit well, if your significant other sees you working out odds are your workout habits will be a behavior your mate will adapt to.
The people one attracts is a reflection of the type of person they are ultimately looking for. You may not get every single quality you want but you pick and choose what you can live with and what you can live without. If you know who you are and what you want then your check list is a listing of the deal breakers, like religion or not wanting to have children.
Chilli's idea to has a checklist was a great start in identifying exactly what she is looking for; but, if your checklist is similar and includes superficial things like "he has to be 6'2, make at least 80k and drive a Beemer, Benz or Bentley" well don't worry about dating because your list will keep you single. In contrast, if your list reflects the important qualities needed to identify your next date from your next boyfriend and your next boyfriend from your husband then you have a list that reflects your true priorities so let your heart and the Laws of Attraction take care the rest.
Is your list holding YOU back from what you really want?
Posted by BK Vixen Gone MD at 8:14 PM