My Theory

"Forget what you heard, recognize what you see. I know you heard the here's the real me." XoXo

Monday, January 11, 2010

Baby Daddies

Today I want to talk about a conversation my girls and I had the other day. It seems as though some of my single friends thought it was a plus to date a man with a child, while a few of the others thought it was definitely a minus. I just listened in on the subject and let my four girls debate it amongst themselves.

The pro-baby daddies, thought that a man with a child is attractive because it shows he will be a provider and also a family man. "Watching a man with his son or daughter is the cutest sight to see" my friend exclaimed. "It makes me instantly think of family and marriage" was the exact phrase that SHE used.

The anti-baby daddies said that a man with a child means baby momma drama and is unnecessary drama. She referenced the open door policy that people with kids have (ya'll know what I'm talking about) and said her own personal experience with a baby daddy just made her think baby daddies are more promiscuous than the single men. According to HER, woman like my friend enable baby daddies to be some of the greatest players they are...all because they think its cute to see a man with a kid. In other words, she's saying that men with kids are chic magnets.

I watched my girls go back and forth in this discussion. Alot of woman have been talking about this lately and I believe it was even a discussion that was talked about on the radio just a few weeks ago. My thought is that in this age in our lives we should know what we do and do not want to deal with. A child does not necessarily make a man a "family man". It simply means that he either a) got caught out there and is now taking care of his responsibilities or b) he was with someone and thought they would be raising the child together but it didn't work out. Either way that has nothing to do with anyone new that he meets. Dude might take care of that kid, but tell you to get an abortion, you never know. As for the "chic magnet" theory, hmmm that's and interesting one. Not all women these days, especially the ones without kids are checking for a dude with a kid. Some woman might get past it but there will still be others that will not. Either way, people always want what they can't have so that makes the chic magnet theory flawed to me because the baby daddy will probably be chasing the chic that doesn't' like that he has kids.

For once I'm going to keep my opinion to myself and say this. Know what you want and what your willing to deal with as there are pros's and con's to everything. Family man/chic magnet, these are all stereotypes that a dude might not necessarily fit once you get to know him. A single man with no kids can be a family man just as much if not more than a man with kids and the chic magnet baby daddy might be cute but when he has to drop off the kids at his BM's house (baby mommy)every night at the exact time you want to see him, is it still cute then that he has kids???? You never know, so know what you want for yourself and stick to it.

Share your thoughts!!!!!


  1. I completely agree. This kills me. What's so hard about taking care of the responsibilities that YOU put yourself in? Not just guys, women too.


  2. You said it best - there are pros and cons to dealing with People who have children who are not your won (both male and female) i think that we should just deal with each individual on a case by case basis- going into any relationship with preconceived notions can be a the ruination of that relationship



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