My Theory

"Forget what you heard, recognize what you see. I know you heard the here's the real me." XoXo

Sunday, June 5, 2011

The Ugly Truth About Love

Old black and white movies from the early 90's portray love as this amazing thing that makes life worth living for once you find it. Modern day love stories are are no different. The story line is always the same. Boy meets girl, boy hurts girl, girl by odd chance meets new boy, boy falls head over heels for girl but messes up, yet through determination and a grand gesture like running through the airport to stop her, or speeding through traffic to catch her moving truck before she moves across the country, boy stops girl, declares his love and they live happily ever after.

Aside from myself I wonder how many woman in the world have fell victim to thinking that this is the way love goes. That men instinctively know to serende us outside our windows and to send flowers to our jobs just because. Television has made us think that love is a romantic walk hand in hand off in the sunset to live happily ever after. Personally, I feel betrayed by the way television and romantic comedies depict love.

A man has never chased me through the airport, a man has never ridden on a horse to profess his love for me and a man has never thrown pebbles at my window to get me to come outside. A man has never got up in front of a group of strangers and told me I am the blues in his left thight trying to make it over to his right and a man has never gone on hot 97 and proclaimed his love to me as his new song was about to debut. But does this mean I have never been loved? Based on my life experience those in Hollywood would say that I have never been in love if these grand gestures have never happened to me. Yet I wonder, as you read this can you honestly say these things have happened to you? For my married readers, can you honestly say that after you said "I do" life instantly became happily ever after? To my single readers, can you honestly say when you meet a man that the dating routine is what is depicted on television? The answer to both of those questions is no yet this is the crap that Hollywood feeds us.

Until recently, I believed that the happily every after I saw in the movies was real. I thought that with the right guy that men just knew and that life becomes just what we see on tv....a romantic comedy. But as I continue my dating journey I realize that love isn't perfect. That men instinctively still don't know what to do at times. That love requires work and effort and a great understanding on ones innerself.

It stings that I am learning this lesson so late in life, but now that I know I have begun to work on my innerself and set realistic expectations. Love is not what you see in the movies. Love is simply....what you make it!


  1. lol @ the title of this post. Very appropriate.

    I've had very few men make these kinds of grandiose gestures. Corey (Im sure you remember him) was a hopeless romantic and was the closest to that. But since that time..... no way, jose! I agree, the movies lie (lol).

    So true, that love is what we make it! :-)

  2. 1st, I've never seen any black and white movies in the early 90's (lol). But yes, love is what you make it. It is an action word, a verb, that requires mental and physical stamina to maintain.
    I so agree with getting to know your innerself, otherwise how can you know what you like and dislike.
    what a wonderful sunrise your journey has given you, the light to see your faults as well as theirs (men). No, we are not perfect, and hollywood is responsible for the false sense of understanding what love is. We want what we see, but it isn't real. The sad thing is that many won't ever get to this point, always looking for the "happily ever after" when it simply is what you make it. The truth is you can't be happy all the time, not with an imperfect person, but the JOY of love is true and constant.

  3. Girl friend life is a journey where only the strong & knowledgable survive. Check out the bible, I Corinthians13 chapter. If you can get that in your heart you are ready for love otherwise have fun and live.


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